


The Thug and the Heiress

by GlintOnGlass



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action, Action/Adventure, Adult Content, Adventure, Drama, F/M, Humor, POV Female Character, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Romance, Romance, Sexual Content, Suspense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-04-01 18:48:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4030720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlintOnGlass/pseuds/GlintOnGlass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vanessa Bellerose, born to a prestigious family of nobles, is nothing like a lady. Instead, she’s a soldier in the Military Police, rising to the top using any means necessary. For a greater cause, she’s willing to do whatever’s needed. When she meets the Captain of the Survey Corps, she realizes that he isn't like any other man she’s met. When she falls from a window, only to be caught by him, she finds herself experiencing an unexpected reaction. </p><p>What she hadn’t realized at the time was that she'd fallen in more ways than one...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Special Investigations Squad

**Author's Note:**

> I realize this starts off a little boring, but I promise it will get better and better! I hope you enjoy my new story and show me your love with kudos and comments! I love feedback.
> 
> Attack On Titan © Hajime Isayama  
>  _The Thug and the Heiress_ ideas  & original characters © GlintOnGlass. All rights reserved.

 

 

I sighed as my black horse trotted along through the forest. My subordinates were trailing behind, all of their faces drawn into deep frowns. One would think these expressions were the fault of a mission gone wrong, leaving countless bodies strewn across the landscape. Instead, my haggard soldiers’ facades were to blame on one man. Said man was the third horseman in the group.

 

“It was the best night of my life! Jenny –no wait– maybe it was Penny…oh well, it was something like that. Anyway, she had the most amazing smile I’d ever seen. Her teeth were pearly white and those lips…those lips could kill a man! So, we spent the night dancing in that little club in the main city –the one with those little candles across the bar– while the rest of my group left hours ago! That body of hers was incredible. She knew exactly what she was doing on that dance floor. It was the first time I really enjoyed dancing myself. We spent hours against each other –she had this really silky hair– and she went to-“ The man’s voice was ingrained into our brains by now.

 

“Captain?” The voice of the second horseman interrupted the endless chatter. I glanced back at Lucas; his voice had been pleading. The look on his face was beseeching as he met my eyes and nodded once toward Allen, the one causing all our misery.

 

“We had eggs for breakfast. She was a horrible cook. There had to be a whole eggshell in that omelet! I almost broke my teeth on-“ Allen continued, oblivious to the feelings of the entire group.

 

“Allen.” I spoke, my voice level as my cerulean eyes never left the scenery in front of me. “If you keep talking, I’ll have no choice but to cut out your tongue.” My hand shifted toward my maneuvering gears’ hand grip; which was currently bladeless. The blades were only a few inches away resting on my hips. I knew without having to look that Allen’s eyes widened, his open mouth snapping shut in an instant. I heard sighs of relief from every other member of our group.

 

“Thank god.” Lily said from the back of the group, loud enough for everyone to hear. Allen glared at her. Lucas, the rider right behind me and my second-in-command gave me a nod in appreciation. I turned back to the front and watched the trees begin to thin as we reached a more open area.

 

“The Survey Corps current HQ is a few kilometers ahead, Captain Bellerose.” Lucas stated. I nodded and held my left hand up over my shoulder, my pointer and middle finger motioning forward. Lucas took my signal and kicked his horse into a gallop, riding ahead of our group to scout the area. We were still within the walls, but it never hurt to be careful. Nolan, who had been the fourth horseman, rode up beside me.

 

“You think they’ll be okay with us being there? We _are_ the first Special Investigations Squad there’s ever been.” Nolan said as his white horse nudged mine with its nose. He was referring to our current mission. The Special Investigations Squad was only just formed recently. Its job was to inspect each and every branch of the military within all the walls. It was well known that the Military Police branch had been especially corrupt for years. However, the fact that some of the best soldiers belonged to this branch caused an incentive to form this squad. Our job was to find out who was corrupt, which supplies and gear each branch needed, and make recommendations for change based on our observations.

 

“When is anyone _ever_ pleased to see the Military Police?” I responded, earning a laugh from him. The emblem of a unicorn on my cloak blew in a sudden gust of wind. My dark brown hair held up in a French twist barley even twitched, only the few strands framing my face moving in the gust. We were members of the First Interior Squad –an elite group within the Military Police– directly receiving orders from the king himself.

 

I’d first entered the Military Police at top of my class when I was sixteen. I’d spent the next five years making my way into the Interior Squad using my family name and quite a few underhanded tactics. I wasn’t ashamed of this, however. It was all for the greater good. I wanted to reform the entire military, and to do this, I had to rise to this position quickly. It was my _only_ option. In order to form the Special Investigations Squad, I had to climb the hierarchical ladder as soon as possible. I used whatever methods were open to me. As a noble, my name automatically opened doors. As a beautiful woman –or so I’d been told many times– I’d used my appearance to garner favor with men. As one of the very best soldiers in the Military Police, I’d forced my way –sometimes ruthlessly– into the higher ranks.

 

“We’re here.” Nolan said. I looked ahead and saw a large stone castle. Lucas was giving an official scroll to a member of the Survey Corps. I could see the man’s glare from here. Never a good sign. I adjusted my cloak, my maneuvering gear clanking as I shifted. Our squad had been given special permission to use this gear, as we would be traveling more than the regular Military Police, so the rifles had no place here. The blades we carried, made of ultra-hard steel, were for Titans. The handguns, however, were for humans.

 

“Dismount.” I ordered, our horses already in front of the castle by now. I swung my right leg over my horse, my left hand gripping the pommel of the saddle. My right hand held the back of the saddle as I removed my other foot from the stirrup while I jumped down. I was too short to dismount on one leg. I took the reins of my horse and looked toward the stables where a man had appeared, already walking toward us.

 

“Your horses will be taken care of by him.” The man who had been talking to Lucas stated. “You can follow me inside. I’ll show you to your rooms.” The Survey Corps solider began walking inside. I handed my reins to the other man, who took them with a smile. I nodded in reply while Lucas handed his reins over. My other two subordinates stayed behind, waiting for their turn. Lucas trailed behind me as I followed the man into the castle. He showed me my room first, stating that I’d have to sleep with my other female solider. Lucas, Allen, and Nolan’s room was next. We passed more winged soldiers in the hallways, some of whom openly looked at us with distain. _If they only knew_ , I thought. He brought us to what looked like a main room filled with tables, at last.

 

“This is the main dining hall. Dinner will be served soon.” He explained, his voice curt. “If that’s all…” He trailed off and before I even dismissed him, he walked away. Lucas made a sound in his throat for this disrespect. I put my hand on his shoulder, quieting him.

 

“You shouldn’t have let that go.” He said, walking toward a corner of the room. He sat down on a bench in front of a table, taking off his cloak. I joined him after a moment of surveying the room.

 

“I’m weary after listening to Allen babble the entire trip. There are only certain fights I feel like fighting at the moment.” I mumbled. He smiled. We waited a few minutes while members of the Survey Corps began to fill the room in anticipation for dinner. They all noticed us. It was kind of fun to watch their expressions change. Lily, Nolan, and Allen joined us. The other soldiers began to get their meals and had started eating.

 

“Is there a reason why I can’t eat, Captain? Are you trying to kill me?” Nolan questioned, tears in his eyes, as he dramatically gave me the most pitiful face he could muster. I rolled my eyes. He had the stomach of a man five times his size.

 

“If there wasn’t, I’m sure she would’ve mentioned it by now.” Lily commented, smacking the back of his head. I smiled and shook my head at their antics. All four of them had been specifically chosen by me for this squad. They were the most trustworthy soldiers I could find within the Military Police. That, and they were skilled. Their personalities were a bit unrefined but it made for a more interesting group. Just then, the room that had been bustling with noise became silent. I looked to the entrance of the hall and saw the one person I’d been waiting for. He was looking directly at me, his ice blue eyes expressionless. After a moment of standing there, he walked toward our table. All eyes were on him as he did this. He stopped a few feet away.

 

“Captain?” Lucas asked, looking between us. I stood from my seat. We were only a few feet away from each other at this point. I looked up at the towering man.

 

“Nessa?” Erwin asked, his face still impassive. I slowly smiled and launched myself at the blonde man.

 

“Eri!” I exclaimed like a little girl as I wrapped my arms around his neck, his hands surrounding my waist to keep me hanging above the ground as I hugged him. I could feel his grin against my cheek. By now, I saw the utterly astonished looks from the Scout Regiment over his shoulder. Some were even choking on their food. I’d bet they were now re-thinking those looks they’d given us when we first arrived.

 

“It’s been too long, brat.” Erwin said, putting me down. It had been five years since the last time Erwin and I had properly talked. I could feel the eyes of my squad’s soldiers staring at us. “I heard the Military Police were here on special assignment, but I had no idea it’d be you.”

 

“I’m only a few years younger than you. Calling me a brat is ridiculous.” I replied, my eyes darting over to my squad who was gawking at me. “The whole point of the Special Investigations Squad is to be covert. Besides, it’s rare that I can catch you off guard.” I added, turning back to him. It was then I noticed there was someone standing next to him. Black hair and gray eyes. My height. It could only be one person. Erwin noticed me looking at him.

 

“Vanessa, this is Levi. Levi, Vanessa Bellerose.” Erwin introduced us. Levi wouldn’t try to shake my hand, so I didn’t bother offering. He was barely suppressing a glare. “She’s one of the very few members of the Military Police I’d bet my life on.” He added, causing Levi’s glare to disappear as he looked up at his commander.

 

“It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you from Erwin.” I said, flashing him a smile. He didn’t respond for a while but finally nodded.

 

“He’s never mentioned you before.” Levi replied. I blinked, knowing he was a blunt person but not quite expecting that reply. I glared up at Erwin, who managed to look embarrassed.

 

“I don’t talk about your branch that often.” Erwin supplied, “It’s not like you’re in the regular department anymore. I honestly can’t believe you’ve made it up this high so soon. If it was anyone else, it’d have taken twice as long.”

 

“Special Investigations Squad? I’ve never heard of you.” Levi stated. I opened my mouth to reply when Lucas answered for me.

 

“We’re new. Officially, we’re operating on a trial basis. We investigate all branches of the military and report our findings directly to the king. Whether they be good _or_ bad.” Lucas’ voice deepened at the end. I could tell he wasn’t too fond of Levi, though it was probably because Lucas thought he was being intentionally rude. Levi raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms.

 

“Tch. Just what we need. More spies.” He said. Erwin laughed.

 

“Oh? Even though Vanessa and I personally came up with the idea?” Erwin asked. Levi actually managed to look startled. “It’s not what you think. It’s for reformation, not spying. If she’s the one doing the inspection, it will be accurate.” His hands rested on my shoulders. “Though, I’m still annoyed you didn’t join the Survey Corps. Even when I practically begged you.” I withheld the urge to snort.

 

“You don’t beg. You only asked. _Twice_. I said no. Besides, I probably benefit you more in the Military Police, don’t you think?” I asked, my voice lowered so only the people directly around us could hear, the answer already hanging in the air. Erwin wanted reformation from the top to the bottom. I was at the top. He was at the bottom. He had everything he wanted and he knew it.

 

“I’d rather you be somewhere I could keep an eye on you. The people in Wall Sina aren’t the best company you can keep.” He said, his voice a whisper only a few of us could hear. I laughed.

 

“That isn’t necessary. I’ve been surrounded by them ever since I was born. It’s nothing new. I know how to navigate.” I smirked up at him, my eyes darkening. “If talking doesn’t work, I always have violence.”

 

“Yes, yes…I suppose you do.” He said, his hands falling from my shoulders. “Anyway, your soldiers look hungry. We should eat.”

 

“Go on.” I said, giving them their cue. They were up in seconds.

 

About half an hour later, most of the Survey Corps were finished with their dinner and only a few were left. On my way out, I stopped at a table. Levi was still eating and looked up as I put my hands on the table, leaning toward him. I met his eyes, my expression of utter sincerity.

 

“I wanted to thank you.” I began. The glass he was drinking from paused as he eyed me over the rim. “For keeping Erwin alive. I know that it’s in no small part due to you.” He looked like he was going to answer but kept his mouth shut in the end. I straightened up and left for my quarters in their barracks.

 

 


	2. The Winged Cloak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second chapter is up! In this one, you get to learn a little more about Vanessa and she actually has a conversation with Levi ^_^
> 
>  
> 
> Attack On Titan © Hajime Isayama  
>  _The Thug and the Heiress_ ideas  & original characters © GlintOnGlass. All rights reserved.

 

 

The next day was full of different inspections. We combed every single crevice of their castle from top to bottom. From their supplies, to their sleeping quarters, to their horse stables. Lily and Nolan took notes on everything. Lucas and I kept an eye out for anything out of the ordinary. Allen, our resident chatterbox, did what he was best at and spoke with the Survey Corps, trying to get any information out of them he could. The one thing that remained continuous throughout the entire tour was that the entire place was spotlessly clean. Once the initial work was done, we all parted ways and took a break.

 

I went into the stables and found my horse. She was happy to see me and stuck her head out of the stall in greeting as I smoothed my hand over her incredibly soft nose. I’d picked up a few carrots from the kitchen earlier and fed them to her as her whiskers brushed against the palm of my hand. I closed my eyes for a moment, happy for the silence. After that long journey with Allen talking for days on end, then a whole tour and explanation about every aspect of the Survey Corps regimen, I was tired of hearing people speak. I found a stool to sit on and leaned against one of the stalls while watching the horses.

 

My relaxation was cut off unexpectedly when I heard a loud whinnying and a yell. I opened my eyes to find a member of the Survey Corps holding the reins of a horse that had begun to rear up. I stood when I realized the horse’s front hooves would hit the man when it came back down. I could tell he wouldn’t move out of the way in time, so I intervened. In a lightning fast movement, I grabbed his upper arm and pulled him out of the way. He landed on the ground a few feet away from the horse, which was now galloping off into the distance.

 

“How-How did you?” The man sputtered, looking at me with wide eyes. He gathered his composure in the next second. “When did you even get here?” He stood up, brushing the dirt off his uniform.

 

“I was sitting there.” I motioned to the stool where I’d been and he looked at it.

 

“You’re fast. I didn’t even see you coming.” He said, his voice going from guarded to thoughtful. He turned back to me. “That horse is usually well mannered but it doesn’t like small animals. There was a chipmunk a few yards away. You would think he’d be more afraid of a Titan…” He stopped when he saw me smile.

 

“You’re welcome.” I said. His face suddenly turned bright red and he started stuttering again. I’d experienced this reaction countless times when I’d smiled at men in the past. It was almost as common as soldiers saluting.

 

“Oh, I didn’t even-I’m sorry! The _horse_! I _forgot_ the horse!” He exclaimed, his face still the shade of a tomato as he started running in the horse’s direction. “Thank you!” He yelled over his shoulder as his form disappeared from view.

 

 

I spent dinner in Erwin’s room, reminiscing about old times and catching each other up on the new happenings of our lives. We also talked about planning our movements as the Survey Corps and the Military Police and what would be the next course of action in our reformation plot. We talked for a few hours, brainstorming and joking around at the same time. We’d known each other since we were kids. We both grew up in Wall Sina. He was like an older brother to me and I was a younger sister to him. It was one of the reasons why he teased me so much.

 

“So, let’s get to the point.” Erwin said suddenly, as he cleared off the table.

 

“What point?” I asked in confusion as he walked the tray of our food outside his door where he left it for someone to take back to the kitchen. He turned around.

 

“I know what you want to do. Don’t play coy. It doesn’t work when the other person knows you well.” He replied, shutting the door behind him. I raised an eyebrow but watched as he pulled a square box out of his back pocket. As he got closer, my lips formed a grin.

 

“Oh, _that_ point.” I responded as he put the deck of cards on the table. I looked across the table at him. “Are you sure about this? It never ends well for you.” He only shrugged.

 

“I know you enjoy it.” He said, picking up the cards as he began to shuffle them. “I know you haven’t played in a long time. It’s not as exciting as in the card rooms, but it should still be interesting. You did learn Poker from me, after all.” He dealt the cards.

 

“You know I play with money, right?” I asked as I picked up my first card.

 

“I’ll lose a little cash if it means I get to see your true colors.” Erwin replied, putting a box of chips on the table. I smirked, knowing exactly what he meant. Poker, any kind of card game really, always brought out the worst in me. I was ruthless when it came to two things in life. Poker and accomplishing my goals. I looked at my second card.

 

“I won’t go easy on you, Eri.” I stated, my face devoid of all emotion in an instant. He laughed and looked at his own cards, eyeing the communal cards in the middle of the table. He’d never beaten me once.

 

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Nessa.”

 

The game went on for a while. Anyone standing outside the Scout Commander’s door would have heard a variety of sounds. Loud, evil laughter. Irregular pained moaning. Outright yelling. Slamming of wooden furniture against walls. Occasional crying. We’d been interrupted in the middle of the game, when one of his subordinates had come into the room. We hadn’t heard him knock, so we weren’t expecting visitors when the man entered. He walked in to find us sitting across a table with cards in our hands. I had the expression of someone who’d just murdered five Titans in a bloody massacre and was happy about it, while Erwin was stripped down to his underwear staring at his cards with a determined expression. The poor soldier had run out of the room in tears.

 

Apparently, this had caused a small gathering to form outside the door. By the time the game was finished, I left with a bag of sweet, sweet money. My face full of utter satisfaction, I knocked over three members of the Survey Corps who’d been pressed against the door. They were now sprawled across the floor in a heap as I stepped over them, a grin plastered across my face that would last for another hour at least. I went back to my room where Lily was waiting, a book in her hands.

 

“You played him, right?” She asked once she saw the look on my face. I hummed my answer and got ready to take my shower for the night.

 

 

 My eyes opened to darkness as light slowly begun to illuminate the room. I could still see the stars outside the window as I sat up in bed. Lily’s soft breathing across the room drew my attention. I glanced at her sleeping form before silently getting out of bed. My bare feet quietly padded across the room as I picked up my clothing and got dressed. The Scout Regiment’s barracks were soundless as I walked through the halls. I ended up in one of the towers at the top of the castle and looked out over the landscape. It looked different here. More open. More free. I’d been to the third wall before and stood on top of it, overlooking the rest of the world beyond these walls and had been mesmerized. It was one of the reasons I’d considered joining the Survey Corps all those years ago.

 

Ultimately, I’d decided that I was better working within the walls. I was familiar with the customs within the innermost wall. I knew how to get people to do my bidding. People who would normally never lift a finger were being controlled like puppets on strings by my network of spies. I gathered information. It was my main trade and people would pay handsomely for even the smallest bit of it. There were only so many people who knew how to do this and even fewer who would use their power for the greater good over selfish ambition. I’d made my choice, so the only thing left for me to do was look out over these walls keeping us in while holding the leash of a few prized individuals within the inner walls.

 

I walked back down the tower and back to my room. Or what I thought was the way back, anyway. I ended up in the opposite section of the castle. I’d only realized I was lost by the time I looked out a nearby window and the stables were nowhere to be found. I strolled around for a while until I saw a light coming from one of the rooms. Two candles were sitting on a table accompanied by a stack of papers. Sitting at the end of the table was Captain Levi, who was busy writing on a particularly thick stack. I walked in and peered over his shoulder at the paperwork. He hadn’t noticed me at first, but his pen hovered for a few seconds while I was behind him.

 

“Is being nosey a habit of yours?” Levi asked, the glow of the candle casting shadows over his face. I smiled and sat in one of the chairs on the table’s side.

 

“I _am_ in the Special Investigations Squad. Nosey is my job.” I replied, picking up a few of the papers. He’d stopped writing and was watching me. “I can’t sleep, so I might as well do something useful. Do you have another pen?”

 

“Here, don’t mess them up. I don’t like having to do things twice.” Levi replied, handing me a second pen. I began filling out the forms. All military documents were mainly structured identically, so I was used to them by now. I’d finished the first page when I noticed his hand was positioned in a strange claw-like manner as his fingers held the rim of a teacup. As a noble, it was the first thing I spotted before I even registered the tea itself.

 

“Earl Gray?” I questioned, my tone light. I almost thought I’d seen a flicker of a smirk cross his lips but it was gone before I could be sure. He stood from his chair and left the room before I could get another sentence out. I blinked once, not expecting his response. I’d noticed that about him. The things I did or said never got the expected response out of him. While it troubled me a bit –I was a master at manipulation and not used to this happening– it also piqued my interest. I looked back down at the ink still drying on the parchment and continued filling it out.

 

“Vanessa.” I jumped when my name was called, turning to find Levi standing behind me. It was very rare that someone could sneak up on me. I’d known about his reputation before but experiencing it myself was another story. He held out a teacup on saucer which I took wordlessly, still surprised. He went back to his papers while I took a sip. “You needn’t look so surprised. I may be a little rough around the edges, but I _do_ have manners. Some of them, anyway.” He continued, glancing up at me.

 

“That wasn’t-” I stopped speaking, realizing that I’d been caught so off guard that I must’ve shown the surprise on my face as well. He thought it was because of the tea. I’d almost been thoughtless enough to correct him, giving him an indication that he’d been stealthy enough to startle me. “Thank you, for the tea.” I said instead, my instinctual manners kicking in and taking over. Sometimes, it was useful to be of noble birth. We continued to work in silence for a long while, the flames of the candles flickering as wax dripped onto the table. I’d been through my first stack of papers when he spoke again.

 

“The commander doesn’t usually speak like he does when he’s with you. It’s a little unsettling, to be honest.” Levi admitted as he signed one of his documents.

 

“Erwin and I grew up together. He’s been like a brother to me and he views me as his little sister.” I said with a shrug. “It’s one of the reasons he likes to tease me so much. I let him because it’s the only time he ever acts like his old, carefree self.” I took another sip of my tea, the warmth spilling down my throat with ease. I smiled into my cup. “He was actually a really cute kid.” Levi looked up when I said this.

 

“I can’t imagine him as cute. Ever.” He retorted with a grimace.

 

“It was when he was really young.” I supplied, “As he got older, he changed. We all do, really.” Levi nodded and continued with his work. I filled out more forms as I watched the candles grow shorter and shorter through the night. I’d finished my tea about an hour ago and was leaning on my arm as I wrote. At some point, I must’ve fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes again, the first morning light was streaming through the room. I slowly moved off the table, my back stiff from the awkward sleeping position. The candles had been blown out and were stumps by now. I leaned back into the chair, trying to stretch my protesting muscles while reaching my arms into the air. I felt something slide down my back and looked down to see the customary green cloak wedged between the chair and me. I frowned, remembering that I hadn’t brought my cloak with me while I wandered the halls last night and picked it up.

 

“Wings?” I asked aloud, once I saw the insignia on the back. _Someone must have covered me while I was sleeping…but who would_ , I thought. The answer slowly dawned on my still tired mind. At first, I was skeptical. It might have been him but it could’ve been Erwin or any other random member of the Scouts. As I brought the cloak around myself, I found my answer. It actually fit me. There was no way it could’ve been Erwin’s. There were only a few members of the Survey Corps who were even close to my size. I folded the cloak into a neat square and placed it on the table, my eyes tracing the blue and white wings. “For the glory of humanity, huh? Maybe we might stand a chance, after all.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos highly appreciated ^.^


	3. The Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's where it gets interesting! Vanessa gets up close and personal with Levi. This was the chapter that started it all; it's one of the best, in my opinion. I was having a bit of writer's block but finally got over it, so I'm posting the next chapter early. I hope you all enjoy!

 

 

The next three days passed without incident. One night at dinner, the soldier who I’d saved from the horse appeared at our table. He’d thanked me again in front of his entire regiment, even going so far as to bow. I’d invited him to join us while the rest of the soldiers had watched from the sidelines. Lucas asked him what he’d been thanking me for, which led to a riveting tale about how I’d saved the boy’s life. I’d corrected him at the end of the story. At most, I’d saved him from a few broken bones. This caused Allen to start up his own adventurous saga while the rest of us ignored him and ate our dinner.

 

By the next day, Allen had invented a whole new version of my saving the Scout, which he began to tell to anyone within earshot. This caused a lot of the Survey Corps soldiers to become interested in our squad. Pretty soon, there was a gathering around Allen. Later that night, I’d been suddenly surrounded by soldiers when I sat down for dinner, all of them asking about what happened to the, apparently, rabid horse which I’d battled against with only a single horseshoe. This event caused Lily and Nolan to burst out laughing the entire night. By the time I crawled into bed, I was seriously re-considering my decision to let Allen into my squad. I’d chosen him for his conversational skills. No one took him seriously when he’d begin his stories and this caused the listeners to become unguarded, letting their secrets spill into the waiting ears of my resident gossip. His knew his job and he did it well. Some days, though, I wish he would only begin on cue instead of continually.

 

I’d been surveying one of the many storage rooms when I heard a ruckus coming from down the hall. It turned out to be a fight between Nolan and Lily. A spar, really. They’d made a mess of the room and were wrestling each other on the floor by the time I got there.

 

“Nolan!” I’d barked, my voice sharp and authoritative. He was the only one who would’ve started this. They’d both frozen on the floor the moment I’d spoken and I watched as Nolan’s green eyes looked up at me. In the next second, he was off the floor and backing away, his hands held out in front of him.

 

“Captain! It’s not what it looks like, I swear! It was all a misunderstanding! I-“ He was cut off as I lunged at him. Normally, he wouldn’t have had any time to react but he happened to trip over an empty gas cylinder while he was backing away, causing him to fall back. In turn, I flew over his still falling form and found myself going straight through an open window. We were on the third floor so I only had seconds to react. I twisted my body onto my back as I slid across the window ledge, hooking my legs against the inside of the building. When the backs of my knees hit the ledge and I dug my heels into the stone, I sighed in relief. Even though the rest of my body was hanging upside down over the side of the castle wall.

 

“My legs! Grab my legs!” I ordered, looking down to see grass three stories below. I was beginning to slip by the second word. I had no maneuvering gear on, so the grappling hooks wouldn’t save me. I’d already blown my chance at somersaulting out the window then using my momentum to launch myself away from the wall to land safely. If it were higher, I’d have a better chance of vaulting myself. With this height, there wasn’t enough distance from the ground to switch my position so I could land in a roll. Not to mention, I was already upside-down.

 

“Vanessa!” I heard a yell and saw Erwin a few yards to my right. By this time, my soldiers had grabbed my boots, but I was only hanging on by my ankles. I cursed mentally, not wanting him to see this embarrassing moment. He’d tease me about it for years! I was about to answer him when I felt my boots begin to slide.

 

“Shit.” I cursed aloud, my eyes widening as my right foot popped out of its boot. Nolan was left holding on to an empty boot while Lily was barely hanging on to the only one left. I knew it was too late by then. The next few moments happened in a blur. My other foot left its boot and I was falling head first toward the ground.

 

“Levi!” I heard Erwin shout as I pushed my hands as hard as I could against the wall. In a movement that was so fast it made me dizzy, I tucked my legs into my chest and used what little momentum I had to flip over so my feet would hit the ground first. I’d end up with a broken ankle but it was better than a broken skull. I’d closed my eyes and was hoping for the best as I landed. When I felt the impact but didn’t feel any pain that I knew should have been there, I slowly opened my eyes. Steel gray eyes met mine from inches away.

 

“Who is stupid enough to fall out of a window?” Levi asked, not bothering to hold back his annoyance. It was then I noticed his arm was under my knees, the other around my back as he kneeled with one leg up on the ground. I was perched atop his thigh as he held me.

 

“Captain!” Lucas yelled, rushing to my side. I could hear Lily yelling from the window above us, Nolan probably running down the stairs by now.

 

“Evidently, me.” I replied, pushing myself up on his leg as I moved out of his hold. I took a much needed breath and calmed myself. My heart was beating out of my chest. I frowned when I realized this. I didn’t scare easily. Something like this was nothing for me. I’d dealt with much worse than this and hadn’t even broken a sweat. Why was this any different?

 

“Captain? Captain?” Lucas’ voice snapped me out of my thoughts. Judging by his tone, he’d been calling me for a while.

 

“Yes?” I asked, looking at him before glancing at Levi who was standing and brushing the dirt off his boots. As I looked at my savior, a thought popped into my head before I could stop it. He was handsome.

 

“Are you alright? You’ve never taken that long to answer me. Are you sure you didn’t hit your head when you fell?” Lucas continued, his hand squeezing my shoulder to catch my attention. I tore my gaze away from the Survey Corps’ Captain.

 

“I wonder.” I mumbled, unable to help myself. This earned an even more concerned look from my second in command, who looked like he was ready to commit me to a psychiatric facility at any moment. I shook my head roughly then fully focused on him. “I’m fine.”

 

“Nessa?” Erwin asked, riding up to us on his horse.

 

“I’m okay. Don’t worry.” I replied, stepping away from them. I caught sight of Nolan’s cowering form in the doorway and narrowed my eyes. “Before you ask, I didn’t jump out of the window on purpose. You can ask that idiot over there for the details.” I pointed up to Lily. “That one as well.”

 

“Shall I detain them, Captain?” Lucas questioned, his eyes darkening as he looked at the already worried solider. I nodded once before heading over to Levi. He was on his own horse so I had to crane my neck to look up at him.

 

“Just how many times am I going to have to thank you?” I asked with a smile; one that I knew from experience had a positive effect on any man I gave it to. “The next time you’re in The Capital, contact me. I’ll take you to dinner; my treat. It’s the least I can do.” His facial expression barely changed, so I didn’t know if he would reject or accept my offer. This was a first for me. I waited for a moment that felt like eternity before he finally sighed.

 

“Fine.” He said, tugging on his horse’s reins as he rode toward the rest of the Scouts. I watched him leave while I milled over what had just happened. Levi had just caught me in mid-air and saved me from injury. I’d practically had a heart attack. But my heart had only started pounding _after_ I’d opened my eyes. I’d had a moment of insanity and thought that Levi was handsome then I’d asked him to dinner. Had I really just asked humanity’s strongest solider out on a date? At the time, I hadn’t realized it yet, but that day, I had fallen in more ways than one. 

The first Special Investigations Squad report was handed in to the king two days later. After a pleasantly silent ride back to Wall Sina, all four members of my squad were standing in the palace gardens. Rows upon rows of multicolored roses filled the area we were in. I was seated on a marble bench underneath a small gazebo, looking out through the columns at my soldiers who were standing in a straight line expectantly.

 

“Lucas.” I said, watching as he stood at attention and gave the customary salute with one fist over his chest, the other behind his back. “You’ve done well. Our first official mission was acceptable thanks to you.”

 

“Understood, Colonel!” Lucas replied, using my official title within the wall. I was Captain of the Special Squad, but I was a Colonel in terms of my rank within the Military Police’s First Interior Squad. My eyes shifted toward Allen next.

 

“Allen.” I began, watching as he saluted as well. “You did well gathering information. However, as I told you on the way back, your conversational skills were overused and at some moments vexing. This will be under control during our next mission.”

 

“Understood, Colonel!” Allen answered with a nod. My eyes moved between the only two left.

 

“Lily.” She tensed as her name was called but saluted quickly. “Decent work.” I watched as her shoulders fell as the tension left her body. “I didn’t give you specific orders but you did well improvising. Even I almost believed you when you were struggling to hold my boot.”

 

“Thank you, Colonel!” She replied, giving me another salute. I nodded in turn. The entire fight between Nolan and Lily had been premeditated. She was the one who had been ordered to start it. As a squad who’s job it was to be covert while snooping around within the military, we had to look a lot more harmless than we actually were. Wolves in sheep’s clothing, if you will.

 

“Nolan.” His salute looked much more stiff than Lily’s had. “Your role was inadequate. Tripping on the gas cylinder and causing me to fake falling out of a window was idiotic, _at best_. Luckily, Erwin played along with this _farce_. Otherwise, it could have ended in a _most_ displeasing way.” Erwin had seen through our charade, knowing full well that I would never be clumsy enough to find myself hanging out of a window. He understood the need for the show and had sent Levi in to help close the curtain without arousing suspicion.

 

“I apologize for my incompetence, Colonel!” Nolan replied, saluting then bowing fully in front of me.

 

“Seeing as this was our first mission, I will forgive you.” I explained, watching as he stayed bowed at the waist. I hadn’t chosen these soldiers because they were ignorant. I almost smiled at his astute awareness of the current situation. “It will _not_ happen again.”

 

“Understood, Colonel!” Nolan yelled, rising and meeting my eyes with determination. I would never have to physically punish any one of them. Words were the swords here within Wall Sina. They cut deeper than any knife ever would.

 

“Dismissed!” I ordered and watched as they all left the gardens. I began walking down the rows of roses, my fingers tracing lightly over the bushes. Velvet soft petals touched my hands, followed by sleek leaves, the occasional thorn biting into my fingers. I flinched when a particularly sharp thorn cut the pad of my pointer finger. I smiled, remembering the familiar pain. As a Bellerose, my family estate had always been surrounded by roses. Beautiful, elegant, mysterious flowers. Prized for their beauty. Seized only by those willing to be cut in the process. I stopped in front of a fountain, my reflection mirrored in the water. Dark chocolate brown hair pulled up into a French twist, only a few strands loose to frame my face. Cerulean blue eyes. Pale skin. Pink lips.

 

Some days I never wanted to look at myself. Some of the things I’d done –were still doing– weren’t virtuous, nor were they even decent. I had a reason for them, but I wondered if the ends were truly worth the means. Here, you couldn’t be kind. The words gentle and honest were equated with certain death. In a nest of vipers, one had to be quicker and deadlier than the next if you hoped to survive. A drop of my blood hit the water, distorting my face. It was then I recognized that I was just like my namesake. A rose who enamored people with her beauty and elegance only to cut the person who had tried to pick her.

 

 


	4. Not What I Expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized; every chapter before this starts with 'the'. Time to change it up a bit. **SPOILER WARNING! If you haven't watched the OVA A Choice With No Regrets, do it before you read this unless you want to be spoiled!**
> 
> Levi and Vanessa finally make plans for dinner. Yes, you heard me right. They're on a date! The two exchange witty banter and get pissed off at each other even while they secretly like the other. Just what a date should be!

 

 

I was in the Capital when I’d gotten the news. Wall Rose had been breached. I was ordered to remain within the inner wall and control the crowd. After the panic was over, one of my spies sent me a missive. I’d read it, learning that the Survey Corps had arrived towards the end of the attack. A Titan –who was actually a human capable of transforming– had secured the hole in the wall. The next note I’d gotten later that night. The person responsible for moving the boulder into place was a seventeen year old boy named Eren Yeager. His trial was to be held within the week. While most citizens of Wall Sina were still on edge and had barely heard any information about this incident, I slept peacefully, already planning my trip to the courthouse.

 

The morning came and I was met with a surprise. Within the Military HQ, while cleaning my guns, I’d received another letter. This one was from Erwin, who recounted an almost identical story to the one I’d read earlier. The only difference between the two was that in Erwin’s letter, his Captain would be visiting The Capital today. Someone had to report this event to the higher ups and Erwin needed to stay in the Trost District to help manage the clean up. Therefore, Levi had been sent. I must’ve been smiling because a Lieutenant spoke to me.

 

“Colonel Bellerose?” He asked, not used to seeing me so full of expression while performing maintenance on my weapons. That, or he was baffled as to why I was so happy when Wall Rose had almost been destroyed. “Did something good happen?”

 

“Possibly, Lieutenant. Possibly.” I replied, holding the paper over a candle and watching as it caught fire and turned black between my fingers.

I found the Captain of the Special Operations Squad at dusk. He’d already reported to the higher-ups and was entering the barracks of the Military Police HQ. He’d undoubtedly be lodging here tonight, as it would have been a long ride back to Trost. He was talking with one of our soldiers who I assumed was showing him around and giving him his room assignment. He hadn’t noticed me yet. Before they had the chance to disappear, I walked over to them. Levi looked up when he saw me coming toward him. The soldier talking to him had his back to me, so he jumped when I spoke.

 

“Have you eaten yet?” I asked, watching as the Military Police Cadet spun around on his heels. His shock only increased when he saw who I was. He noticed I was looking at Levi then slumped his shoulders with a sigh, most likely dejected that he wasn’t the one I was speaking to.

 

“No.” Levi answered. I looked toward the Cadet.

 

“I’ve got this.” I said, my voice slightly authoritative. The Cadet saluted, stuttering an affirmative before quickly leaving.

 

“I thought I was the one who was supposed to find you.” Levi said, turning my attention back on him. I smiled.

 

“I had a bit of an advantage this time. Erwin wrote that you’d be here today.” I explained as I began walking. Levi followed me, undoubtedly wanting to leave headquarters as soon as possible. I stepped down the flight of stairs leading toward the exit. “So, where would you like to eat? Anywhere is fine.”

 

“Anywhere?” Levi questioned, halting on the stairs behind me. I turned to look at him. He had a strange expression covering his face, one I couldn’t quite place. I nodded. His expression went back to normal and his body was back in motion within seconds. “I have a place in mind but you probably won’t like it.”

 

“I didn’t invite you to dinner so we could eat what I wanted.” I replied, stopping so he caught up. I held my arm out in front of me. “Lead the way.”

A coach ride later, I was standing in front of a stairway. I blinked slowly, _really_ not expecting this to be the place he wanted to go. Levi caught my expression and sighed, running his fingers through his hair. He probably thought I was like every other inner wall woman. Fancy, frivolous, and unaccepting. I could almost see the wheels turning in his head.

 

“If you don’t want to, it’s alright.” He finally said, the words sounding almost forced through his teeth. I looked at him for a moment, waiting until his eyes met mine.

 

“I did say _anywhere_.” I replied, walking past him and descending the stairway that lead into darkness. It took my eyes a few moments to adjust to the low lighting as a long hallway illuminated with torches appeared. He followed me down it until we reached the opening of a huge cave. We passed a few members of the Military Police on the way, not a single one uttering a word as we passed. Even though I didn’t have my uniform on, they recognized me. As a Colonel, they didn’t question why I was here. A soldier keeping watch over the monstrous stairway in front of us stepped out of his toll building. We were now at the official entrance of the Underground City. The soldier pulled a torch out of the wall, walking toward us. His beady eyes squinted as he looked us over.

 

“Ah, Colonel Bellerose.” He said, his grim mouth lifting at the very corners as his torch illuminated my face. “It’s been a while since you’ve come down here. I was starting to wonder if you’d died.” He laughed at the end, his voice gravelly as his humor turned into a hacking cough.

 

“Not yet, Bernard. Unfortunately, I still seem to be breathing.” I replied with a grin. I could almost feel the confusion radiating from Levi behind me. “I wasn’t planning on coming down here today, so I don’t have your usual gift. Can we still go down?”

 

“Of course. For you, anything!” Bernard exclaimed, patting me on the back as he ushered me toward the elevator. Only military personnel could use it instead of the stairs. I stepped into the elevator, pulling Levi in as well as Bernard shut the door and began cranking the machine.

 

“I’ll have someone bring your scotch!” I yelled as we descended into the darkness. Sinking into the Underground usually cost a large amount but being in the military allowed access. As I didn’t have official papers permitting me entrance, I’d made a deal with the gatekeeper long ago. When I couldn’t win men over with my looks, I used my observational skills. The elderly man valued a particular brand of scotch and I’d bring it for him whenever I visited. We went down a few hundred feet before the light from the city began to shine through the wooden box we were in. I caught Levi staring at me. “If I told you how many times I’ve been down here of my own accord, you wouldn’t believe me.” I stated, deadpan. His eyebrows raised an inch, which was the most expression I’d ever gotten out of the man.

 

“That is…unexpected.” He said slowly, our bodies jerking as the elevator hit the bottom floor with a thud. I unlatched the door and waited for him to step out. My eyes automatically lifted to the ceiling so far above us. The brown rock with stalactites and murky mist brought back a flood of memories that had me tensing habitually. It had been two years since I’d stepped foot here and I’d almost forgotten how it felt. The air was stale, almost suffocating as the smell hit me. The years of trash piled up in this dank, dark place filled my senses. “Vanessa?” Levi’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. He was already about fifteen feet away. “This way.”

 

“Coming!” I replied, moving into a quick pace to catch up with him. He led me through the city I was so very familiar with for about half an hour. We passed all kinds of people, some starving, some sick with disease, others glassy eyed, and finally those with thinly veiled murder in their eyes. The children here grew up quickly. They had to if they wanted to eat. It was a fight for survival here. Even more so than in the upper walls. I eyed Levi’s back as he led the way. His military issued jacket was off, leaving him in only a shirt with his maneuvering gear. His weapons were left back at HQ. He was heavily muscled but lean, short in stature but not delicate at all. It was an interesting combination. As I watched him, I began to notice that he was more tense than normal. The muscles in his back would twitch from time to time.

 

“We’re almost there.” He said over his shoulder, walking into a house. I followed him wordlessly and found myself watching as Levi stopped in front of a bookcase in the abandoned building. He removed three books a little over his head and solidly rapped his knuckles against the wood. After a full minute of silence, the bookshelf shuddered making a heavy scraping sound as it slid to the side, revealing a doorway.

 

“Wow.” I whispered, a little impressed. Levi nodded once to the man waiting in the doorway. The man’s eyes swept over to me for a moment. I was wearing a leather jacket over my top, but I knew he could tell I was still carrying my handguns in their holsters on my back.

 

“She’s with me.” Levi stated, his tone leaving no room for question. The man stepped back, revealing a staircase. Levi began down it as I trailed behind him. As we got closer to the bottom of the narrow stairs, I began to hear music. The room we entered was filled with warm candlelight as soft jazz filled the air. In the middle was a huge steel bar surrounded by small iron tables. For the Underground, this place was fancy. “Bar or table?” He asked.

 

“Whichever.” I replied, still looking around. The place was simple but had a unique quality. There were plants growing between cracks in the concrete walls. Only special plants were able to survive here without needing sunlight. They were always white in color and looked almost petrified. Levi took a seat on one of the stools at the bar. I joined him as the bartender came over to us.

 

“What can I get you?” She asked. I looked at Levi considering I had no idea what to ask for. Choices of food in the Subterranean City were limited.

 

“Tea. Gunpowder Pearl Mint for me.” Levi answered, glancing at me. “Jasmine for her.” He added.

 

“Anything to eat?” She questioned.

 

“Can we see the menu?” Levi responded. She bent down, reaching for something from inside the bar. As she straightened, she placed a slab of stone on the counter between us. The menu was etched into the slab. My eyes scanned the words.

 

“I’ll have the potato bean soup with bread.” I said, noticing that they served meat. That was almost unheard of within this place. It was always something else made with the texture of meat. Levi ordered the same thing.

 

“The tea here is good. It’s one of the reasons I wanted to visit.” Levi explained, his eyes shifting toward me. I’d noticed that the teas he had ordered for us were almost unheard of even in the outer walls. “They grow their own tea plants here using artificial sunlight.”

 

“Oh. That explains it.” I said, pausing to take a sip of the tea he’d ordered me. It tasted different than the jasmine I was used to but I supposed that was because of the different growing practice. Our food arrived shortly after and we began eating.

 

“Erwin told me about your little charade.” I almost choked on my soup when he said that. I forcefully swallowed it down my throat and turned to him. “I’d told him that I couldn’t believe that anyone could have been clumsy enough to fall out a window. He’d smiled at me and asked if I was foolish enough to believe it.”

 

“Is _that_ what he said?” I asked, trying to hold back my laughter. He frowned at me.

 

“I understand your reasons for it, but don’t involve me again.” He said, turning back to his meal. I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder. He didn’t go so far as to jump but I felt his stiffness underneath my palm.

 

“I’m sorry.” I apologized, causing him to look at me. “I didn’t intend to involve you. Erwin called you before I could do anything. I would have taken the fall without your help.” He gave me a look.

 

“I think I’m starting to understand why Erwin likes you. You’re basically the same person.” Levi stated, “Getting others to do whatever you ask, then turning around and apologizing like you never intended it, when you’d clearly planned it from the start.” I opened my mouth to retort but stopped.

 

“I’ll give you credit for being so observant. However, I don’t plan things out as much as your Commander. I don’t have the patience.” I took a bite of bread and chewed with a frown. This wasn’t going the way I’d wanted it to. He’d actually insulted me! _Me_ , of all people. This was the first time I’d been frustrated by something in a long time. _Why did I even care what he thought of me?_

 

“Hit a sore spot, did I?” He asked, his voice mocking. I wanted to punch him. I held myself back, taking an internal breath. This wasn’t like me. I hadn’t let my emotions control me like this since I was a child. Why was I letting this blunt, manner-less thug get under my skin?

 

“I might be like him, but there’s a reason why you follow him, isn’t there?” I retorted, watching as he started at me in silence.

 

“Tch.” He muttered, turning away. Victory! I grinned when I knew I’d just cornered him. He couldn’t rebuff that remark because it was entirely true.

An hour later and two more cups of tea fewer, I’d left the bar to use the bathroom. When I came out, two men were staring at me. I kept walking, not giving them the time of day. They thought I was an easy target. A petite woman who had the face of an angel couldn’t possibly be of any danger. It was a mistake far too many men fell for. Not being in my uniform made it even more of a problem. I’d gotten to my seat next to Levi by the time they caught up with me.

 

“Hey, beautiful. What’s a girl like you doing here?” The first asked, his words slurred. His buddy grinned next to him, showing an almost toothless mouth.

 

“And with this guy?” The other said, jerking a thumb at Levi whose gaze turned cold as the steel bar he was sitting at.

 

“How about we take you out? Whad’ya say?” The first said, his hand reaching for me. I was about to break every one of his fingers when a voice beat me to it.

 

“I wouldn’t.” A deep voice said from behind the two brutes. I blinked as the man came into view, his silver hair almost gold in the candlelight. The two men froze after looking at him. They were obviously very low in rank within the underworld. “The lady is _much_ more dangerous than she looks.” He continued, winking at me. I smiled as my friend, one of the main mafia bosses down here, chased away my pursuers. He turned back to both of us when they were gone. His gaze fell on Levi. “ _Both_ of you are, actually.” I looked at Levi, surprised he knew us both. Levi was doing the same to me.

 

“It seems that they let anyone in here these days.” Levi finally said, pocketing the knife that he’d taken out sometime during the exchange.

 

“Well, I won’t interrupt your date.” The silver haired man said, already walking away after a one handed wave. “Come by the club sometime, V. We’d be happy to see you!” He continued, using the moniker I’d created solely for gambling purposes. I thought of correcting his assumption about Levi and I but decided that it wasn’t worth the trouble.

 

“So, how do you know him?” I asked instead, turning to the dark haired man.

 

“I lived here most of my life.” He replied, confirming something I’d already known. It was almost common knowledge, especially for someone like me. “I used to be a pretty well-known gang leader.” He said it in a way that was almost daring me to judge him. When my expression didn’t change, he continued. “And you?”

 

“Like I said when we first arrived, I’ve spent more time here than anyone would believe. I came here quite often as a teenager before joining the Military. I was good at gambling and this was one of the few places where I wouldn’t be caught at the time. There were age limits on the surface.” I explained in the same tone he’d just given me. That mafia boss was in charge of one of the best gambling parlors in the Underground. “I still come here to blow off some steam from time to time.”

 

“You really are not what I expected.” Levi said, jumping off his stool and leaving before I could reply. I grinned, letting the words slowly sink in, before leaving a generous tip on the bar top.

 

 


	5. Stealing Will Keep You Alive

 

 

We’d walked around the city, stopping at a flower shop, where Levi had bought a bouquet that he’d carried for the last ten minutes. I’d said nothing, knowing automatically that there was no way it could’ve been for me. The flowers here were made from paper, expertly folded into the shapes of various plants. It was one of the very few impractical expenditures within the Underground. Even humans with barley enough money to eat would buy flowers for their loved ones, even if they weren’t real. He’d finally come to a stop in front of a large rock formation. I looked up, seeing sunlight streaming from an opening at the very top. Levi had only become more and more tense as we’d neared this place.

 

“Wait here.” He said before using his 3D Maneuvering Gear to launch himself toward the top. I waited silently after comprehending that this place had to be some kind of memorial. There was no other reason he’d bring flowers. I couldn’t see him from my position below, which was for the best. I had more respect for him and those he was mourning than to look in on him at this time. Even I had limits when it came to my curiosity. I took a seat on one of the lower rocks and gave him as long as he needed. This had to be the reason he’d been acting so strangely.

 

On the way back through the city, we’d been silent. I didn’t know what to say to him and he was obviously lost within his own thoughts and memories. A teenager had bumped into me, his shoulder ramming against mine as he’d walked past. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a kid dart out of the alley, using his friend’s decoy to snatch my wallet with expertly nimble fingers. I’d stuck out my foot and tripped the boy. He’d crashed into the ground, my wallet flying out of his hands as I walked over and picked it up. Levi watched the whole thing wordlessly. As the two boys began scrambling away, I caught the smaller one by his shirt, hauling him off his feet.

 

“Wait!” I called to the other, who had looked back to find his friend captured. He paused for a second then continued running. I put the smaller boy down, holding his wrist. “You need to find a better friend, kid.” I said, looking down at him. He was glaring up at me with fire in his eyes as he struggled to get out of my iron grip.

 

“Let me go, you bitch!” He screamed, his dirt covered fingernails digging into my arm. As I looked him over, he finally lost his will to fight back and stilled, his small malnourished form hanging limply from my arm.

 

“Vanessa.” Levi said in warning. He wasn’t sure what I was going to do.

 

“What’s your name, kid?” I asked, ignoring the Captain of the Special Operations Squad. The boy finally looked up at me. His eyes were blue.

 

“Marco.” He replied. “What’s it to ya?” I pulled on his arm and started walking.

 

“Well, Marco, if you don’t want people to see you being carried across town like a little girl, I’d start walking.” I replied, not bothering to look at him as his body dragged across the ground. After I’d said this, he stood up and reluctantly followed me. We walked for a few blocks and I could feel the kid’s eyes on me the entire way. He couldn’t have been more than seven. “My name is Vanessa Bellerose and this is Levi.” I said, looking back at him for a moment.

 

“Your name sounds like some stuck up rich girl’s.” Marco retorted, causing me to laugh. He’d been surprised at my reaction but quickly hid it.

 

“If you only knew.” I said, finally coming to a stop in front of a street vendor. Marco eyed the food steaming in the woman’s cart. I kneeled down to the kid’s height –which wasn’t that far of a stretch for me– and looked him in the eyes. “Stealing will keep you alive down here. I won’t tell you to stop.” I began, watching as his eyes widened. “The trick is to know who you’re stealing from. Stealing from me was a mistake. If it were anyone else, you’d most likely be without a hand by now. Lucky you.”

 

“What was your name again?” Marco asked. I smiled.

 

“Vanessa Bellerose. Remember it.” I replied, shoving him toward the cart. “What would you like? Anything is fine. I would have invited your friend but he seemed to be going in the opposite direction.”

 

“Really?” Marco asked, his voice hopeful but still guarded in suspicion. I ruffled his hair.

 

“Good job. Suspicion is one of your greatest allies. Use it.” He seemed to trust me by now after realizing that I hadn’t harmed him. He pointed to a skewer of what I knew had to be the fake meat they served here. “Two please, and some vegetables.” I said, handing the woman money. I’d let go of Marco by then and handed him the first skewer, which he downed within seconds.

 

“It’s so good!” He exclaimed with a grin. All three of us sat on a bench next to the food stand while I handed him the box of steamed vegetables. He took it without complaint. It was one of the things I admired about the children down here; they never turned down any form of food.

 

“You should always try and pick the more nutritious item.” I explained.

 

“What are you, my mom?” His tone was sarcastic but he seemed to listen to my advice.

 

“If you look closely, you’ll be able to see the build of a man under his clothing.” Levi said, causing us both to turn to him. “Watch the way he walks. If he’s light on his feet, don’t steal from him. Watch his movements and the way he looks at his surroundings. If he’s really oblivious –not just faking– go for it. For the most part, this should work in your favor.” Marco nodded, taking the second skewer that I handed him.

 

“Find some friends you can actually trust.” I added, “After you have the wallet, divide the money in your group. It makes it harder for anyone to take it from you. At best, you’d only be out a fraction of the sum.” In this place, even if you managed to steal money, there was no guarantee someone else wouldn’t steal it from you. It was best not to ever give someone a large amount of cash; it made them a target. That’s why I’d taken back my wallet from the kid. No doubt, Levi had guessed my prior intention from the advice I’d just given.

 

“Miss Bellerose?” Marco asked, his voice soft. I’d been surprised at the tone. He wasn’t meeting my eyes. “Thank you.” The words were almost too soft to hear as the boy looked at his hands. I paused for only a moment then grinned, rubbing his head with my fist as he protested.

 

“For that, Marco, you’ve just earned yourself a treat!” I exclaimed, standing as I walked over to the woman manning the food. I handed her a wad of cash, speaking to her for a moment before returning to the bench. Marco looked at me expectantly as I said; “You can eat here for probably a month if you space your meals out appropriately.” The kid looked like he was going to cry but held his tears in before hugging me. I patted his back. “If you ever find yourself in a lot of trouble, mention my name. It might be of use.”

 

 

Levi and I walked out of The Underground as the moon hung in the middle of the sky.

 

“You are in luck, Captain.” I said cheerfully, “I know you don’t want to spend the night at HQ and I happen to have a house a few blocks from here.” Levi didn’t look as pleased as I thought he would and I sighed. “You can take a shower in complete privacy.” I offered, knowing that the barracks only had public showering facilities and Levi liked to be clean. This seemed to catch his attention.

 

“You’ve convinced me.” He replied, holding his hand out in the manner I’d done previously. “Lead the way.”

 

We reached my house quickly, the white brick façade beaming in the moonlight. I unlocked the door, turning on the lights as I walked inside, taking off my boots by the front door. The homes in Wall Sina were lit by gaslights instead of candles. We entered the living room that opened to the kitchen on the first floor. The house was clean, though I caught Levi running a finger over the fireplace mantel.

 

“I have a cleaning lady who comes every week.” I explained, “It might not meet your standards but it’s better than almost anywhere besides the Palace.” I also liked my surroundings to be clean, though I had my own reasons for it. Levi followed me upstairs to my bedroom. “The shower is through there.” I pointed to a door on the far side of the room as I opened a closet door. “I have some clothes that should fit you.” I mumbled, rummaging through my clothing. After finding a shirt and pants that were a size too big for me, I handed them to him. I was curvier than him and only an inch shorter. They would fit.

 

“Towels?” He asked, already heading toward the bathroom.

 

“In the bathroom closet. Shampoo and conditioner are there as well.” I answered, taking off my handguns and setting them inside a locked compartment of my desk. I walked back downstairs when I heard the water turn on and took off the rest of my maneuvering gear, hanging it on hooks in the living room. I laid on the couch while I waited for his shower to stop. I’d been there a few minutes before hearing a scratching at the window. I sat up, looking across the room into the kitchen. A small black shape was sitting outside the window. My feet moved across the wooden floor soundlessly and I was at the window, lifting it up before I even realized what I was doing. The black shape jumped through, landing on the floor where it proceeded to circle my legs.

 

“Inky.” I said, bending down to pet the cat as it wound its way through my legs. My acknowledgement was met with a loud meow as my hands ran through his soft fur. “It’s been a while, buddy.” I commented, heading toward my fridge. I hadn’t been back to my house in the Stohess District for a few months. Luckily, my housekeeper stocked my food so it was fresh. I pulled out a few small link sausages and got to work, peeling away the casing and cutting them into small pieces. Inky made himself known the entire time, his lithe body pacing back and forth against my legs. I sat a small bowl down with his food and sat on the floor with my legs crossed as I pet him while he ate.

 

“You seem to like animals more than the average person.” Levi commented as he came down the stairs. I glanced at him, his black hair still damp from the shower. He was wearing my black shirt with gray pants and still had a small towel around his shoulders to catch stray water droplets from his hair. I went back to petting the cat as an excuse not to start petting _him_.

 

“I find animals easier to deal with than humans. They don’t lie.” I explained. Levi was watching the cat while Inky was staring unblinkingly at the stranger, his yellow eyes glowing.

 

“I didn’t know you could have pets in the Military.”

 

“He’s not mine. The neighbor next door owns him. Our houses are partially attached, so he comes over whenever I’m here.” I replied, watching as the black cat walked over to Levi. I watched their interaction and noted that he and the cat were very similar. Their hair color was identical. They both were incredibly agile and had lean bodies. Their personalities were mainly the same. If I stayed in the house for more than two days, Inky would have nothing to do with me. He only came to greet me after I’d been away for a while and was only nice to me when I fed him. Levi was the same. I laughed out loud at the comparison, earning confused looks from both males. “It’s nothing.” I said, shaking my head.

 

“You should clean those.” Levi said. I followed his gaze to my arm where half moon shapes marred my skin. They’d been from Marco’s nails when he’d tried to escape. I nodded and stood; ready to walk up the stairs. I paused at the first step, looking over my shoulder.

 

“Don’t bother trying to leave while I’m showering. If you do, I’ll come looking for you at HQ and every soldier there will know about it.” I threatened.

 

My shower ended a few minutes ago and I’d changed into a tank top with a pair of loose fitting cotton pants. Levi was back in my bedroom, watching as I moved countless pillows off of a daybed. I used it as a seating area for my squad when I’d be doing paperwork at my desk and we had something to talk about. After a mountain of pillows were stashed in a corner, I turned to him.

 

“Here you go.” I motioned to the bed, giving him a more normal pillow to sleep on. Levi got in without any fuss, already knowing that it was clean. I moved across the room to my own bed, which was big enough for two people. I wasn’t disillusioned enough to offer him a space there. Even if I did think the man was good looking, he still wouldn’t find himself in my bed that easily. I reached above my head, turning the knob on the gaslight as the room fell into darkness.

 

 


	6. We All Have Our Demons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit graphic, you've been warned. I know the last chapter was a little boring, but this one will make up for it; I promise! ^_~

 

I’d been woken sometime later by a sound. My eyes opened as I turned over in bed to face the window. I was still disoriented, so it’d taken some time before I registered that the sound had been a gasp. I sat up in alarm, looking around the room for the cause only to find Levi sitting straight up in the daybed. I squinted, trying to figure out what was wrong. His face was shadowed so I couldn’t see his expression.

 

“Levi?” I asked, my voice still soft from sleep. He didn’t answer, but his form never moved. I got up and walked over to him, the moonlight lighting up his back but casting shadows over his face.

 

“I’m fine. You can go back to sleep.” He said finally, causing me to pause. His voice sounded normal, but there was still something nagging me in the back of my mind to stay. My eyes swept over his back and the words he’d said earlier that day came to mind. You can see a man’s build under his clothing. Even under the somewhat oversized black shirt, I could see that something was wrong.

 

“You’re shaking.” I replied, watching the almost imperceptible tremors surge through his body. I sat on the edge of the bed facing him. His left hand that was almost stark white under the moonlight was vibrating against the sheets. He never confirmed nor denied my words.

 

As a soldier, weakness wasn’t something we applauded. It was something to be kept hidden, never talked about. He was obviously feeling this way because he snatched his hand out of mine when I’d covered it. I frowned. While I understood his reluctance to show me his feelings, I also knew that this was the time and place for him to feel them. He wasn’t in battle. He wasn’t in front of his subordinates. He wasn’t in front of those he looked up to. As he sat upon a bed in another soldiers’ home, I knew it had all come crashing to the surface.

 

My right arm grabbed his wrist in a lightening fast movement as I pulled him toward me. My other hand wrapped around the back of his neck as I forced his body against mine. His head rested in the curve of my neck for only a second before I felt him resist. He used his strength to pull back as my grip tightened.

 

“Don’t fight me!” I yelled, my voice echoing across the room. It was the first time I’d raised my voice to anyone in a very long time and this seemed to shock him enough that he stopped struggling for only a moment. I used this to my advantage and pulled him back into my embrace. My hand ran up and down over the back of his head as I stroked him like I had the cat. “We all have our demons.” I whispered, my voice soothing as I hugged him against me with my other arm.

 

I smiled when I felt him lean into me, finally letting himself go. He was covered in a thin sheen of sweat as his trembling increased against me. He’d most likely had a nightmare. I knew it wasn’t a simple one, though. The nightmares soldiers faced were not figments of our imagination. They were things we’d seen and done on the battlefield covered in blood and limbs.

 

“Just breathe.” I said, my fingers running through his hair. It was softer than I’d expected. I felt his chest expand as he filled his lungs, his shaking beginning to lessen more and more as his muscular body pressed against mine. I could feel his breath against my skin as he moved so his forehead was resting in the crook of my neck. My hand still kept up the repetitive motion of smoothing his hair and after a few minutes he was breathing normally.

 

“They died today.” Levi said, his voice soft in the quiet of the room. “Two of my friends. The ones I left the flowers for in the Underground. It’s the anniversary of their deaths.” He explained. My eyes closed after hearing this, almost feeling his pain. This was the reason he’d been acting so abnormally. Even as we’d left the place, I should have known it would have continued on the surface.

 

“I’m sorry.” I whispered, not knowing what else to say. I felt him nod against me in reply. There was nothing else _to_ say. I sat with him for a while, mulling over what I knew about him in my head. The two people he was talking about were most likely male and female. I’d remembered reading about them in Erwin’s letters. He hadn’t gone into detail. He’d just mentioned that Levi had joined the Survey Corps with two other citizens of the subterranean city. I glanced at him, feeling guilty that I knew more than he’d told me himself. Especially something this personal.

 

“I was seven.” I said, breaking the silence. I felt Levi look up at me, his head still on my shoulder. “I killed my first man when I was seven.” I continued, staring straight out the window as memories flooded my mind. “It was in the Underground City. I was kidnapped and taken there against my will by three men. I was held in a small room for a little over a month. I remember that room stunningly well. From the stains on the walls to the cracks in the ceiling. There was a small window at the very top; not big enough for me to escape from. That little window was probably the only reason I survived.”

 

“You don’t have to-“ Levi began. I shook my head, causing the words to die in his mouth. It was only fair that he knew something about me when I already knew so much about him.

 

“I could see the top of the Underground from that window. The dark rock and stalactites surrounded by fog. It was the first time I’d ever not seen the sky. Looking at this completely new atmosphere caused me to shift into survival mode. Back then, I was like any other seven year old girl who’d grown up in Wall Sina. Privileged; oblivious to the world around me, a brat, really. It was the first time I’d ever been hungry. They fed me once every three days. I’d realized they’d been keeping me alive on the sixth day, which meant they were holding me for ransom. I knew my parents would pay them, so I wasn’t concerned in the beginning. After a week, I heard them talking. They’d gotten their payment but they were still holding me there. They wanted to see how much longer they could keep asking for more money. That night, they’d beaten me and cut off most of my hair. They took a picture and my hair, saying it was incentive for my parents’ cooperation. The following week, I’d heard them celebrating. They’d gotten another payment. The third week, it was silent. It was then that I came to the conclusion that I would never leave the Underground.”

 

“They stopped paying.” Levi said, his voice grave with comprehension.

 

“If there’s one thing I’ll never forget; it’s the smell. The room they’d kept me in had no bathroom. They’d given me a bucket that they never changed. As the days passed, I got skinnier and skinnier while the room got more and more disgusting. The window didn’t provide much air. The men didn’t come in that often, but when they did, they taunted me while they beat me, telling me that I’d never see the sky again. One of them crushed my left hand underneath his boot.” I paused, feeling bile rise in my throat. I swallowed and took a breath.

 

“How did you get out?” Levi asked, giving me a chance to collect myself.

 

“The final week, I mostly slept. I had no energy and was starving to death. The few times I was awake, my body hurt so much I forced myself back into slumber. I’d woken up to the sound of a commotion downstairs. The next thing I knew, the door to my room flung open and one of my kidnappers grabbed me. He threw me over his shoulder and jumped out of a window. He dropped me when he landed and I screamed after falling on my injured hand to catch myself. The man slapped me and covered my mouth before carrying me through the alleys. I was crying by then. He kept cursing and muttering to himself, asking how they’d found us, as he ran. He finally put me down once we’d reached a dead end. He took out a hunting knife and told me that I wasn’t worth anything anymore before lunging at me. I dodged him, the knife that would’ve cut my throat sinking into in my chest instead. I screamed out in pain but I managed to push my hands against the hilt so it couldn’t go in any deeper. My scream drew attention and I could hear people in the distance. He’d heard them too and let go of the knife as he started running away. I’d pulled the knife out of my chest by the time I saw him heading back toward me. He was being chased, his head looking over his shoulder at his pursuer. I stumbled my way toward him and shoved the knife right into his stomach. He only turned to look at me while he was dying. I saw a member of the Military Police right before I collapsed. Later, I’d learned my parents had tasked members of the Interior Squad to rescue me.”

 

“Is that why you joined the Police Brigade?” Levi asked, sitting up so we were facing each other. I shrugged in response.

 

“I suppose it’s part of the reason.” I almost jumped when I felt his fingers touch my neck, sweeping down and to the side where he brushed my hair over my shoulder. It was no longer in a French twist and was a few inches below my shoulders. He’d moved it out of the way. His fingers traced my collarbone and I sat in silence as they lowered to the place I knew he was heading. His hand stilled a little more than an inch below the bone and traced the scar there.

 

“Is this it?” Levi asked. I only nodded as he touched the place where the knife had entered me so long ago. The scar had been a lot larger on my frame back then. Now it was a little over an inch across and half an inch thick. The knife hadn’t gone in clean and I’d torn more flesh fighting to stay alive. Levi leaned in to get a better look. I must’ve not been paying attention because suddenly, he was kissing me.

 

His lips pressed into mine solidly, firm enough to let me know it wasn’t an accident but lax enough that he wasn’t forcing me. My eyes fluttered closed out of instinct as I felt him move against me, his hand going to the back of my head as his lips continued their assault. His lips were full, soft and teasing as he explored every inch of my mouth. I got lost in the feeling for a moment, my body responding to his ministrations as my lips parted. He took my invitation as his tongue brushed across mine, the muscle even softer than his lips had been. I met his teasing with vigor and deepened the kiss even further. I arched against him when his hand slid up the back of my shirt, his calloused fingers running over my bare skin.

 

“Murroww!” The cat’s cry brought me back to reality, my eyes snapping open as I realized what I was doing. Levi felt my newfound tension and pulled back without me having to tell him. We were both breathing a bit heavily and I ran my hand over my face to clear my thoughts.

 

“We need to stop.” I muttered, still catching my breath.

 

“What’s wrong?” Levi asked.

 

“We’re both highly emotional right now. It’s not the time to be doing _that_.” I clarified, “I don’t want this to be a mistake we’ll both regret later.” Levi stared at me in silence, one side of his face lit by the moon, the other in shadows. He finally sighed, running a hand through his hair. I took that as an affirmative that this had been a lapse in judgment and moved to leave the daybed. He caught my wrist, stopping me as he looked straight at me. I could see his entire face now and his expression was resolute.

 

“That wasn’t a mistake. Not on my part, anyway.” He stated, his steel gray eyes boring into me. “I’ve been wanting to do a lot more than kiss you ever since you made that joke about my tea being Earl Gray.” I looked at him, my eyes widening as I felt my face getting hot. I was blushing. Me! Like a teenage _girl_! He let go of my wrist and stood up, heading for the door. “I’ll sleep downstairs.”

 

 

  


 

 

He was gone the next morning. I didn’t take it personally, knowing he needed to get back to his group as quickly as possible in case there was a problem. The next time I saw him was two days later in the Trost District’s Courthouse. I brought Lucas along for the trip and was currently seated on the right aisle of the court where the rest of the Military Police were stationed. The Survey Corps were across from us and both Erwin and Levi were there, waiting for the one on trial, Eren Yeager, to be shown into the courtroom. As two members of the Special Investigations Squad, we had to witness the trial and report back to the king. The doors opened, all of us turning to see the boy who could transform into a Titan only to find a soldier walk through them. There was a collective murmur about what was taking so long when the solider walked up to me, handing me a scroll.

 

“A message for Colonel Bellerose.” The solider stated while I opened the letter. I read the first few lines before searching around my uniform for a pen. When I couldn’t find one, I looked up.

 

“Does anyone have a pen?” I asked, looking around the room. Within seconds, in a movement that was almost in complete unison, most of the men in the courtroom raised their hands up holding pens. I only blinked in response. I rarely came to the outer cities beyond the inner wall and when I did, I was almost like a mythical creature to some soldiers. Word had spread about my beauty even back when I’d first joined the army. Now, it was even worse after they’d heard about how difficult I was to attain.

 

“Pigs.” The commander of the Military Police spat out while looking at members of his own regiment in disgust. I knew Erwin had the same sentiment across the room as he witnessed this debacle. Levi, without uncertainty, was beginning to grasp that I wasn’t an ordinary woman in a lot of ways.

 

“Why thank you, Captain Cooper.” I said loudly as I took a pen from the man sitting closest to me. I went back to my letter, filling in a response as the rest of the men sat back down, putting their pens away in defeat. Something like this was one of the only ways for them to safely garner my attention. After a particularly bloody incident during my Cadet days where one of my admirers had crossed the line with his advances, I’d cut off his hand. Since that day, not a single man had approached me in an overly flirtatious way, so they only had things like offering pens to state their intentions. I signed the letter and handed it back to the soldier who saluted and was on his way.

 

The doors opened again and this time it was the person we’d been waiting for. Eren Yeager, a teenage boy, was bound in chains as he was led to the middle of the room. He’d been secured to the floor by the time Darius Zackly –the Commander in Chief of all branches of the Military– had entered. I listened to each side’s argument about whether the boy should be kept alive. The Military Police were calling for his execution, deeming him a threat too dangerous to control. The Survey Corps were arguing to use his power to their advantage during their scouting missions outside the walls. The room only got louder and louder as ridiculous arguments were thrown around the room. I watched as the boy –unable to stand it anymore– finally screamed, threatening the courtroom. My eyes closed. This was the worst thing he could do.

 

A moment later, I heard the solid impact of flesh against flesh. Levi had stepped into the middle of the courtroom and had begun to beat the hell out of the boy. He landed some very solid hits, a tooth flying out of the boy’s mouth when he’d kicked him right in the face. I watched in silence, knowing that this was the only way to show the court that the boy could be controlled. I caught the glance of a teenage girl who was giving Levi a lethal look as he continued to pummel the Cadet. I frowned internally, not appreciating that look. She evidently didn’t understand politics. Eren, now beaten and bloody, sagged against the floor in his chains. Erwin used this shocking display to his advantage, asserting that if Eren ever lost control of his Titan form, his Captain would swiftly put an end to the boy. Darius finally made his ruling, sentencing Eren to be under constant supervision by the Survey Corps Special Operations Squad as they took him on a trial mission that would decide his ultimate fate.

 

Eren had been escorted out of the room; presumably back to the cell he’d been kept in underneath the courthouse for the last three days. The courtroom was beginning to filter out as I caught sight of Erwin. He’d given me a discreet nod then left. Our real relationship had always been a secret, allowing us to work together behind the scenes. I’d only hugged him in front of his own regiment because I knew they wouldn’t gossip. Or, more to the point, Erwin would make sure they didn’t. I stood from my seat, earning the attention of one too many men before Lucas gave them a look that had them turning the other way.

 

“I’m sorry you always have to deal with this.” I said as I got in line to leave.

 

“Please. You’re the one who has to deal with it.” Lucas replied, “I just make it a bit easier.” He’d been like my own personal bodyguard the moment I’d first asked him to join my squad. “At least this doesn’t happen within Wall Sina.”

 

“True.” I stated while getting into a carriage one man had held for me. “But it does have its perks.” I added with a smile as Lucas closed the door on the man who’d been trying to ride with us. In the innermost wall, soldiers knew me better. They’d witnessed what I could really do with my weapons and my intelligence. They weren’t stupid enough to make complete fools out of themselves. They had more sense than that. It didn’t stop other nobles, however. Rich men from other wealthy families tried to pursue me on an almost daily basis. Their ages ranged from very young to very old. If they married me, their own fortune and name would be secured. As the sole heiress of my family, they’d also inherit my fortune and the reputation that came with my name. Unfortunately, I was one of the most prominent bachelorettes within the wall.

 


	7. Our Desires

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long! I've been busy with real life. Trust me, it was worth the wait. This is where the story finally begins to _mature_. Enjoy!

Sometime later that night, there was a knock on our hotel room door. Lucas glanced at me and I shrugged. I wasn’t expecting anyone. Lucas stood and moved to open it, following protocol. If it was a hoard of my admirers, it was his job to block them from storming into the room. When I didn’t hear a large group of people, I looked up. Lucas had moved aside to reveal a shorter dark haired man.

 

“I thought I should be the one to find _you_ this time.” Levi said, stepping inside. I was sitting on the end of my bed with my legs crossed as I smiled up at him, pleasantly surprised.

 

“You know, if you ever decide one day to stop fighting Titans, you could become an excellent actor.” I teased, referring to the scene in the courtroom and the role he played previously in catching my fall. Levi gave me a dark look but I knew he wasn’t insulted. Lucas laughed.

 

“I think I’ll stick with the killing. It’s what I’m good at.” Levi replied, giving Lucas a glance that made the man stop chuckling. The room fell into silence as he looked back at me. I could tell he wanted to continue the conversation from the night before but wasn’t going to do it with my solider standing there.

 

“Lucas, could you give us a minute?” I asked, my voice carefully neutral. I didn’t want my subordinate to know anything that went on in my personal life. Especially of the romantic variety. He glanced at me for a moment then nodded, closing the door behind him and leaving us alone. Levi walked around the room, carefully surveying every item from my guns laid out on the table to Lucas’ jacket hanging off one of the bedposts. He finally stopped, sitting across from me on the other bed.

 

“I’m not the most delicate person, as you know. So don’t be offended as I’m going to be very direct with my next few questions.” Levi began, meeting my eyes. The steel gray irises were darker now, almost a smoky gray.

 

“Ask them.” I said, confidently meeting his gaze. His mouth lifted at the corners. So, he liked it when I challenged him.

 

“Are you sexually attracted to me?” He asked, his eyes never faltering. I had to give the man credit. Not many people could keep solid eye contact with me when asking anything remotely close to this.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Would you kiss me again if given the chance?” I smiled at him.

 

“Come over here and find out.” I replied, earning a small laugh from the man.

 

“I told you before that I wanted to do a lot more than kissing. Are you alright with that?” He asked, catching me slightly off guard. I knew that he wasn’t a complete brute but I never imagined him asking like this. It wasn’t the same as his usual matter-of-fact way of speaking. He was _really_ asking me. I hadn’t expected him to be so polite.

 

“Yes.” I answered levelly. He paused for a long moment after this. I could tell he was considering something. “What is it?” I asked, making him look back up at me.

 

“And if it’s just for _one_ night?” He finally questioned. I stared at him for a while, my own mind working over-time. He watched as I got off my bed, walking over to him. I sat next to him and put both my hands on either side of his face. His hair brushed the tips of my fingers as I made him look at me.

 

“That depends. Why do you want it to only be one night? Tell me the truth.” I said, my face only inches away from his. When he didn’t answer after a moment, I continued. “I haven’t been offended at any of your questions but I _will_ be truly offended if you aren’t honest with me.” He sighed, his hands covering mine and bringing them down to rest between us.

 

“I’m a Scout.” He said, his voice low as he traced my fingers, looking down at our hands. “It’s the most dangerous position in the Military; I could die at any moment. I can’t promise you that I’ll come back. I can’t even promise that I’ll be there for you when you need me. I can’t do that to any woman. Especially one I care about. It’s too cruel.” My hands closed around his, making him meet my eyes.

 

“I thought it’d be something like that.” I said, “That’s also Erwin’s excuse.”

 

“You think it’s an _excuse_?” Levi asked, his voice darkening in anger.

 

“Yes. It is.” I said, pressing my finger against his mouth to silence him. He saw the look on my face –it wasn’t judgmental, it was patient– and quieted his irritation. “Think of it this way. You’re a Scout. You have the highest chance of death in the entire Military. Isn’t that even _more_ reason to truly live your life without regrets?” This seemed to catch his attention. “While I understand your hesitation, closing yourself off from the world and your own feelings isn’t going to keep you alive. It’s going to kill you long before your actual death. Do you want to live whatever time you have left as a hollow shell of a man?”

 

“It’s not just me I’d be protecting. It’s you. If we were to start a relationship…what if you fell in love with me and I die? What are you going to do if I leave and you have to deal with my death all alone?” Levi protested, trying to get me to see his point.

 

“I’m going to live.” I replied, watching as his eyes widened in surprise. “While I won’t be happy –probably for a long time– it doesn’t mean I’m going to curl up in a ball of grief and die. If you fell in love with me, would you want me to act like that? It won’t be the end of the world. I’m not a housewife; I’m a soldier. I know the risks of being with another. I won’t let fear stop me from doing something I desire. I’d rather be with you and lose you than regret never taking the chance I had before it was too late.” Levi stared at me for an instant then his lips were on mine. The kiss was hard, demanding as he pushed against me, taking my breath away. He was angry that I’d made a valid argument. It only lasted a moment then he pulled back.

 

“Why can’t you be like other people? You never do anything I expect.” Levi muttered, running a hand through his hair in exasperation.

 

“I could say the same about you. But that’s why we like each other, right?” I replied, grinning. “So, is that a yes? Are you willing to try and have a real relationship with me?”

 

“I can’t promise you that it’ll work out…but I _will_ try.” Levi said, his expression resolute. His hand found mine, our fingers interlacing against the mattress. “There is one little problem, though.”

 

“What?”

 

“Erwin.” He stated. I knew what he meant. Erwin wouldn’t take the news of this well. He had expectations for both of us and our relationship could end badly for both him and us. Levi lifted my hand to his mouth, a devilish grin suddenly appearing as he kissed every one of my knuckles as he spoke. “Luckily for you, I’m not one to let anyone stop me from doing the things I desire.”

 

“You know,” I said as he began kissing his way down my neck, his lips soft and feather light. “You act differently when you’re with me.” He paused against my neck. “You’re more…open. When I see you with other people, you keep your emotions hidden a lot better.”

 

“It’s easier with other people.” He replied, his tongue trailing up the shell of my ear. I shivered in response, my body tensing automatically as he bit down on my earlobe. “With you…I get thrown off. You do or say something I’d never expect or you give me this ridiculously beautiful smile that catches me completely by surprise. I can read people very well but you’re different.” By now, he was pushing me against the bed.

 

“Wait! Lucas.” I protested, moving out from under him. He put me back where I was in a second flat, my back bouncing against the mattress as I looked up at him. His hair was hanging down as he hovered over me, his grip firm but not bruising.

 

“I locked the door.” Levi said, his eyes turning that dark gray I’d seen when he was asking me those questions. My breath caught in my throat as he began unbuttoning my shirt.

 

“But Lucas still has a key.” I stated, grabbing his nimble hands. Levi bent down and kissed me on the mouth, his warm wet tongue sliding between my lips, effectively silencing my protest.

 

“No, he doesn’t. They’re both on the nightstand.” He said, taking my hands and lifting them above my head. He held my wrists in one hand, pinning them down in one quick movement. “Why do you think I spent so long looking around the room?” I thought back to when he first came in, my eyes widening.

 

“You planned this the entire time?” I exclaimed, watching, as the final button on my shirt was undone. His lips twitched upward again as he slid my shirt apart, exposing my flesh. The cool air hit my skin, giving me goose bumps as he stared me down. The grip on my wrists was strong as a vice, showing that he’d been holding back his real strength the entire time. He sat on my legs, pinning me once more as his tongue began a slow line up my stomach. It dipped inside my bellybutton, my eyes closing as I swallowed, enjoying the feeling. It went up further, leaving a trail of cool wetness behind, as he traced the bottom edge of my bra.

 

“You continue to surprise me.” Levi murmured against my chest. My eyes opened and I looked down at him, his dark hair falling against the mounds of my breasts. It tickled, making me squirm under him. “I would have thought you’d be a little more practical considering the way you wear your hair and uniform. But I suppose I should’ve guessed that your underwear wouldn’t be so basic.” He looked up at me now, his gray eyes matching perfectly with the dove gray lace bra that I was wearing.

 

“It’s the one thing people don’t get to see.” I explained, gasping as his tongue lapped over my nipple. I could feel the exquisite pressure of the muscle even through the cloth. “I have to look a certain way to keep up my professional image. My lingerie is one of the few things I get to pick without considering anyone’s judgment.” His free hand that had been drawing circles on my thigh rose up to cup my other breast. I moaned as his tongue flicked back and forth on one nipple, his thumb and pointer finger rolling the other.

 

“I approve of your choice in undergarments.” Levi said, his voice almost a rumble. His tongue circled my nipple a few times, turning the dove gray fabric a darker color. He then sucked, pulling me into his mouth. My back arched, my wrists straining against his grip as the pressure of his mouth intensified against my breast. My breathing was in short gasps now, another moan escaping my throat. “Does the color have anything to do with me?” He asked.

 

“Don’t flatter yourself.” I replied, momentarily coming back to my senses. Gray happened to be my favorite color, not that I was going to tell him that. I could feel him smiling against my skin as he went back to licking his way across my chest. I made a sound that was in between a squeak and a yelp when he bit down, hard, on the top of one breast. He soothed the sting with his tongue, slowly lapping over it. “What the hell?” I asked.

 

“You’re mine.” Levi said, his mouth lifting to reveal a red circle of bite marks as he looked straight at me. “It seems like I have a lot of competition. Just so you know, they’ve already lost.” His voice was matter-of-fact, but I could see in his eyes that the episode in the courtroom had bothered him. “You are _mine_ , Vanessa Bellerose. Remember that.” My eyes widened at his words and before I could reply, there was a knock on the door.

 

“Lucas.” I said sharply, trying to sit up. Levi released his hold, climbing off me as I began to button my shirt back up, my fingers clumsy in my rush. There was another knock and I paused. “Five more minutes!” I yelled loud enough that he’d hear me through the wood. I felt a tug on my shirt and watched as the Captain of the Survey Corps buttoned the fabric, re-adjusting the belts covering my upper body that were part of our uniforms. He also moved my jacket so it was covering more of my chest, pausing to look at the emblem.

 

“I can’t believe I’m dating a member of the Military Police.” He said, shaking his head. “Of all people, it had to be someone in the _one_ branch I can’t stand.” I knew he had a deep hatred for my branch of the Military that went back to his days as a criminal in the Underground. I couldn’t blame him. I knew most members in my branch weren’t good people.

 

“Well, at least I’m rich.” I replied jokingly. He blinked at me, causing a slow frown to form on my face. “You _did_ know that, right?” I asked slowly, starting to grasp the situation that was rising to the surface. Shit.

 

“No.” Levi replied, “I don’t inquire about anyone’s financial status.” Double shit. He must’ve seen the look I was giving him because he frowned. “What?”

 

“I guess I might as well tell you…” I began, already dreading the outcome of this conversation. It never occurred to me that no one had told him about my status. “I thought you already knew. You see, it’s normally the first thing people talk about when discussing me…”

 

“What is it?” Levi asked. It was then I remembered he was a member of the Survey Corps. Money wasn’t their first priority like my branch. It wouldn’t be something that came up immediately. I took a deep breath, wondering if this would be the end of our relationship. Over before it even really began.

 

“I’m not just rich, I’m an heiress. I’m a noble, Levi.” I said, the words rushing out of my mouth. Levi only stared at me for a solid minute.

 

“You’re kidding.” He said finally, his voice certain.

 

“For once, I’m not.” I replied, watching his response. It was deadpan for a few seconds before he started laughing. I jumped in shock at the sound. The laugh was somewhat forced, somewhat crazed. He continued laughing all the way to the door, where he opened it, letting Lucas in before closing it behind him. I could hear it all the way down the hallway as I stared at the closed door in terror. I had just revealed to one of the thugs of the Underground that not only was he dating a member of the Military Police –whom he despised– but also a member of Noble Society, whom he probably despised even _more_. Lucas, who had been giving the door the exact same look that I had, faced me.

 

“ _What happened_?” He asked, for once in his life looking shaken. I glanced at him, feeling the same way internally.

 

“I think I just broke him.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos highly appreciated, even if it's just to say 'hi'.


	8. The Things We Can’t Wash Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a little Christmas or (Happy Holidays) present for all of you on AO3. I hope you like it! Although it's really gruesome for the holidays. Sorry.
> 
>  
> 
> **Warning: This chapter is _extremely_ graphic and depicts torture. If you don't want to read this, you can stop reading once you reach the quote "Let the games begin.".**

Within the Palace, my footsteps echoed across the stone floor. The sun was beginning to set while I walked a well known path. I’d just handed in my report about Eren Yeager’s trial to the king and was getting ready to hand in the second. My eyes scanned my surroundings expertly, looking for any onlookers. When I was satisfied that I wasn’t being watched, I slid into a secret passage within a column, shutting the hidden door behind me as I began to descend a set of stairs. There was no torchlight here, it was pitch black. I knew my surroundings by heart as I avoided a large hole in the stairwell, my hand skimming the jagged stone wall as I descended.

 

I reached the bottom in a moment, turning the knob on an oil lamp. The small room burst into light the second I turned it on and I squinted until my eyes took in the statue before me. It was the likeness of the first king in full white marble glory. I closed my eyes and listened for a few seconds, making sure I hadn’t been followed. Footsteps would echo in the stairwell, no matter how light they were. I took out the hidden second report, folded into an envelope, that I inserted into a crevice behind the shield of the statue. I did report to the king but everyone within Wall Sina that had even an ounce of intelligence knew that the king was just a figurehead. There were others working behind the scenes who controlled everything and everyone here. I personally gave this report to a certain powerful man who was working in secret to overthrow the monarchy.

 

My fingers reached behind the statue’s crown to find a small note. I opened the missive, reading a single name before lighting the paper on fire with the flame of the lamp. The charred remains of parchment fell to the floor where my boot smeared the ashes, essentially leaving no trace of the contents behind. I extinguished the lamp and headed back up the stairs, already planning my next mission in my head. Murdering another noble was never an easy task.

 

 

The members of the Special Investigations Squad had been tailing our next target for over a week. They knew everything about the man from his preference in salad to his mother’s favorite perfume. My soldiers were used to working for two different entities by now. By day, our official work with the Military Police was done. By night, our covert operations took place. As we couldn’t spy on everyone around the clock, my network of spies took over and reported their findings. Members of my squad took turns on the night watch so we were never all out of energy at once. It was a tactic that worked well and was basic enough to not garner any attention.

 

Fortunately, all members of the Special Investigations Squad were from above average families. It allowed them access to places where most of our higher born targets frequented. To anyone watching on the sidelines, it just looked like any other gathering of the rich and famous. It never seemed like any one of them was paying special attention to the target. They would all seem like any other partygoer. Lily would flirt shamelessly with all the men, Lucas would go into the men’s longue and talk business with all the other gentlemen, Allen would gossip like no tomorrow with everyone surrounding him listening to his tales, and Nolan would be the handsome bachelor who stood off to the side looking untouchable as masses of women tried to get his attention.

 

Through our surveillance of the man, we’d learned that he was supporting a very disturbing cause. I’d been ordered to kill him because of his relationship with a certain priest. This religious man was like any other fanatic preaching about the fall of the Walls and the end of civilization. However, he was also in the business of selling children to the highest bidder. The money earned from the children was being funneled into the pockets of some very wealthy nobles who were dead set on keeping the hierarchy within Wall Sina. For the most part, I trusted the orders that were given by my silent benefactor. I had never been asked to kill anyone that hadn’t deserved it. After surveying them and deeming them a threat myself, I would do what had to be done. My benefactor would take care of the priest while I was in charge of the more delicate target.

 

“So, tonight’s the night?” Lucas asked, pulling his tuxedo jacket over his crisp white shirt.

 

“Yes. Mercifully, even I have an excuse to show up.” I replied, sweeping my floor length dress to the side to put on my heels. Lily and Nolan laughed at my ire, knowing that I really wanted to be anywhere else but at a ball my parents were throwing. It was the best opportunity to capture our target but it was also one of the things I’d been avoiding all year. It was dismally mandatory that I make an appearance once a year at a public event my family was throwing. As the only heir to their fortune, it was the one thing I couldn’t talk my way out of. And, believe me, I’ve tried.

 

“At least you’ll be distracted this time.” Lily offered with a small smile in her lavender gown.

 

“Yeah, just imagine yourself as us.” Allen said, his own dress shirt a deep orange that was bound to get more than a few looks. He’d done it on purpose in case he needed to be a distraction while the rest of my team arrested our target. That, and he just liked to be obnoxious.

 

“I’d rather not.” I replied, giving his shirt an abhorrent look. Nolan came over to me in his dark green tux, his hand resting on my shoulder.

 

“We’ll do our job, you do yours.” He said with a grin as he took my gloved hand. I was wearing black lace gloves with a strapless blue gown that matched my eyes. I’d covered the scar on my shoulder, making it almost invisible with makeup. I’d learned how to hide it long ago. None of the other nobles would accept one of their own with a _scar_. It was beneath us. My hair was in a chignon. I’d never let all those men see it down. I’d be asking for a riot. A portion of my inheritance would undoubtedly be destroyed in the ensuing chaos. The ball _was_ hosted in my parents’ home. I simply nodded, letting him lead me into a carriage.

 

 

All too soon I was in front of my home, the manor stretching high into the sky. Hedges of roses surrounded the brick building, all of them lit up with outdoor gaslights. The front entrance was bustling with people as our carriage pulled up. Allen, Nolan, and Lily got out first, knowing that I’d delay as long as possible. Lucas waited, still seated, until I took a deep breath and nodded. He exited first, holding his hand out for me as I stood. The buzz of chatter died the instant I stepped out of the carriage. I straightened once my feet touched the ground, reverting to the posture lessons that had been drilled into me since I was a child. All eyes were on me as I forced myself to produce a dazzling smile as I acknowledged everyone while walking inside.

 

“Vanessa!” My mother exclaimed, her blue eyes lighting up as she threw her arms around me in the doorframe. I hugged her back, happy to see her. I didn’t visit this place often and some years I only saw them at their parties. Catherine Bellerose looked like an older version of me. She was petite, her hair was the same brown and her eyes were a sky blue.

 

“Daughter.” My father said with a small smile once she let me go. He gave me a nod to which I responded with a hug. He would never show affection first, not in public. Behind closed doors he was a teddy bear. He awkwardly patted my back, playing the emotionless father role as his guests watched the display. Edmond Bellerose looked the least like me with his tall, muscular stature and blonde hair. His eyes, though, were the exact same cerulean blue as mine.

 

“How have you been?” He whispered as my mother greeted someone. I gave him a smile and I noticed the almost imperceptible strain around his eyes lessen just a bit. He’d been worried since the day I signed up for training.

 

“Fine, Father.” I said, motioning to my squad who was standing to the side. “These are the members of the Special Investigations Squad.”

 

“Oh! What a pleasure it is to meet the people you’ve been working with.” My mother gushed as I introduced them by name. My father stared down each of the male members while giving them a firm handshake. He was entrusting his most precious possession to them; me. While he couldn’t directly test their prowess, he would test their nerve when they stared down one of the most influential people within the Walls. When they didn’t back down under his unyielding gaze, he lightened up. I’d only formed my squad this year so they had never been introduced to my parents until now.

 

“Enjoy the party.” He said, motioning them inside.

 

“Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Bellerose. I’m sure we will.” Lucas said, bowing slightly before he left.

 

“They seem…capable.” My father said stiffly while my mother frowned at him.

 

“Of course they are. Our daughter picked them personally.” She admonished, giving me a wink. I smiled back at her before walking inside. The smell here was still the same. Perfumed with roses, tobacco, and books. I always loved that smell and I breathed deep, memories of my childhood dancing through my mind as I walked the halls. My parents were good people. They had nothing to do with the corrupt practices within the Walls. While they never used their power for evil, they weren’t pushovers. They carried a lot of clout here and their opinion of things was taken very seriously. You never wanted to get on the Bellerose’s bad side. It was social suicide.

 

I entered the ballroom that was swarming with people, some of them dancing while the orchestra played. Others were lining the walls in conversation, some of them eating from the open buffet. A good looking man offered me champagne almost immediately.

 

“For the most beautiful lady here.” He said, his hand brushing against mine as I took the drink with a polite smile. These gloves were for more than fashion. This would happen a number of times tonight.

 

“Why, thank you.” I replied, taking a small sip.

 

“Would the lady care for a dance?” He asked, already offering his hand with a bow.

 

“She never dances in the beginning of the party.” Another man interrupted. “She also choses who will be her first partner.” All the things he said were true. It prevented fighting if I was the one to choose. I watched as the silent battle raged on between them and took my chance to slip into the crowd unnoticed. I walked around the room, surveying the partygoers. They were all dressed in their very finest. A ball Edmond and Catherine Bellerose hosted was always one of the main social gatherings of the year. Not one person would miss it.

 

I remembered a time when I actually used to enjoy them. As a child, my uncles and cousins would dance with me, swinging me around the dance floor. My first dance would always be with my father as his eyes stared down at me, wrinkling in the corners as he smiled. It was the one time he ever showed his affection for me while others were watching. That all changed as I’d gotten older. I eyed the members of my team, placed in various vantage points around the room, as I picked up a small tart from the buffet.

 

“Let the games begin.” I muttered, taking a bite as the bitterness filled my mouth.

 

 

A few hours later, my subordinates had secured the target. While all the men had been distracted with my first dance announcement and all the ladies had been diverted to Allen, who had fallen into a fountain, his shirt clinging to every inch of his muscled torso; it happened. Lucas, Nolan, and Lily surrounded the man, pulling him behind a row of plants where they’d knocked him unconscious. As they took him out of my home, they’d made the excuse of the man being too drunk to stand while they carried him away. I’d danced with countless partners for the next hour until my feet began to ache.

 

I’d left after making a heartfelt toast to my parents, which had resulted in a sea of applause. They’d let me go without complaint and I was back at my own home within the hour. I took off my dress in record time and changed into all black gear. There was no point in wearing my uniform. I wasn’t under any acknowledged orders. That, and there was no reason to stain it with blood when I didn’t have to. When I was finished, I grabbed the matte black mask that I wore for such occasions and left through a window.

 

I arrived at our meeting point where my subordinates had been waiting. It was an abandoned warehouse used to make maneuvering gear that had been shut down for over a year. Nolan was guarding the entrance as I stepped inside; Lily positioned somewhere even further down the road. While no one could legally persecute me for what I was about to do, I still never wanted anyone to know about it. Allen was sitting in a chair propped against a steel door, his usual cheery façade gone. In the dark, shadows covered the planes of his face as he looked up at me.

 

“He’s inside.” Allen said, slowly standing. He was still in his tuxedo, his clothing looking absurd against the rusty machinery in the background. There were weeds growing between cracks in the concrete. It was rare that I saw my soldier truly serious; he only got this way right before a kill. Sometimes I wondered what his real personality was like. The outspoken lyrical gossip, the quiet serious type, or something else entirely. I’m not even sure if he knew himself.

 

“Open them.” I said quietly, sliding the black mask over my face. A metallic screeching noise filled the air as the rusty hinges of the door protested against the movement. The door opened, revealing two figures lighted by a single oil lamp. One of them moved, walking out of the storage container. The light of the moon lit up his features as Lucas stepped out.

 

“I can do this one.” Lucas offered, his voice low. He knew that this wouldn’t be a quick kill if I had anything to do with it. I shook my head, walking into the container.

 

“No. This one is mine.” I replied as the door shut behind me. My eyes took a moment to adjust to the low glow of the lamp as I walked toward the form sitting on a chair at the very end of the container. His arms and legs were bound to the chair, his eyes and mouth covered. I could hear him breathing from four feet away, his gasps ragged in fear. As I got closer, his skin shone in the light. He was sweating. His body tensed suddenly and I knew he felt my presence. “Theodore Stewart.” My voice rang through the small space and I watched him tremble without pity.

 

“Mmph.” I heard him speak, his voice muffled through the gag in his mouth.

 

“I’m going to take off the gag. You can scream if you’d like. No one will hear you.” I replied, my voice emotionless and controlled. My hands untied the cloth around his head, letting it fall to the ground as he took in a sharp breath.

 

“Who are you? Why am I here?” He exclaimed, still blindfolded.

 

“You have been found guilty of crimes against humanity. You will be punished for them.” His trembling stopped for a moment, and then his chair began to creak violently as he fought against his restraints.

 

“What crimes? Let me go! You’ll never get away with this!” He screamed, thrashing in the chair until it fell over. He landed on his side with a yelp, his arm being crushed by his own body weight. I bent down, grabbing his shirt collar and hauling him back up with one arm. He quieted for a moment in surprise at my strength. He knew I was a woman from my voice. He hadn’t expected how strong I was.

 

“Your crimes are various. To name one; the selling of children.” My voice was still monotonous. It gave them no chance to argue with me. If I had no inflection of any kind, my words were simply fact. It worked on numerous occasions. I pulled the blindfold off his eyes, allowing him to see me. The mask was still covering my face. He had no idea who I was. Even if I had stood in front of him without it, there would be no difference. He would still never leave this room.

 

“W-what are you going to do with me?” He asked, his voice catching as he swallowed back a sob. His eyes were darting around the room now, trying to find an exit. I always preferred a quick death. It was less trouble and much less messy. However, exceptions were made when dealing with people like this. They didn’t deserve mercy.

 

“I am going to torture you.” I stated, taking out a single knife from its holster on my thigh. He started whimpering then, the sounds bouncing off the metal walls. “Then I will kill you.”

 

“Wait!” He yelled as I walked to the back of his chair. “I’ll pay you! Any amount! Just name it, I swear you’ll have it!” He continued pleading as I started pealing away his fingernails. The blade of my knife slid into his flesh easily; even smoother than peeling an apple. His screams only got louder and louder as the light from the lamp flickered. Blood was running in small rivers, the bright red color like paint spilled on the floor. I finished with his last fingernail, popping it off as it bounced against the ground. He stopped screaming only to catch his breath, his chest ballooning in and out.

 

There was nothing more I had to say. He couldn’t bribe me with anything. He had nothing to offer. I would never use a man like this for information. He’d betray me any chance he got, even if he was afraid of me. People like this were too stupid for their own good. Normally, I wouldn’t bother with torture unless I wanted some form of info. This time was different. He deserved to feel every minute of this for what he’d done. He’d taken the weakest members of society –children who were orphaned– and abused them in unspeakable ways emotionally and physically. I could only imagine the horrors they were still being put through. A quick death was too good for this man; this monster.

 

The screams started up again, this time in a higher pitch as I began slicing off his fingers. The stubs rolled across the floor like the link sausages I fed my neighbors’ cat. Once I was down to the bone, I took off the glass cover of the oil lamp, hovering it beneath the stub of flesh. The smell of burning flesh filled the room as he screamed, shaking in agony as I cauterized the wound. I couldn’t have him dying of blood loss this quickly. This went on for quite some time, my ears beginning to dull to his sounds. I never heard another word of his pleas as I continued, finishing off the second hand. I paused for a moment, wondering what I should do next. I moved to stand in front of him.

 

Theodore Stewart had his eyes closed, his breathing slow and shallow. I waited until his eyes opened, the pupils dilated from the adrenaline surging through his body. It was always like this. Pain had interesting effects on the human body. I watched him in silence as he stared at me, the hope in his eyes slowly fading. It always took a lot longer than I liked for this to happen. Humans were surprisingly resilient.

 

“Please.” He whispered, his voice hoarse from screaming. I shook my head slowly back and forth. The first tear rolled down his cheek, followed by another as he began to sob. He knew at this moment that I wasn’t going to stop. I grabbed a handful of his hair, wrenching his head up as I bent over him.

 

“Please.” I stated my voice cold as ice. “Is that what those children said to you before you sold them?” He only sobbed harder as I let go and began slicing the front of his body. My knife made quick work of this, the wounds somewhat shallow as I avoided any main arteries. The floor was beginning to get slippery with blood as my boots moved around his chair. My gloved hands were already covered with the warm substance, my sleeves beginning to harden with dried clots of it. More and more screaming that seemed to last an eternity echoed in that room until finally his voice was too hoarse to use. He’d passed out a few times previously, but this time he was wide awake after I’d kicked him in the groin to rouse him.

 

His skin was pale from blood loss as streaks of sweat, tears, and blood marred his face. The whites of his eyes were a startling contrast against the red mess. I’d broken all four of his limbs in multiple places while he was unconscious. I only untied one limb at a time, making sure not to let him have any chance at escape. While it would’ve been more painful to break them while he’d been awake, I knew he’d still feel the pain once he awakened. The chair had been discarded a long time ago and he was laying on his back looking up at me. His limbs were bent in odd angles, leaving a grotesque looking form behind. It looked like a Titan had pulled him apart piece by piece, leaving his body mainly intact but mangled. I kneeled down beside him, my legs getting soaked with plasma. I slit his throat in one quick motion, watching as he took his final breaths.

 

He gurgled as the blood filled his lungs and then all was silent. I waited a moment then checked his pulse twice. When I felt nothing for the second time, I stood and knocked three times on the door. There was no use trying to pull myself together. I was always too far gone in my thoughts to even have a reaction by the time I was done torturing someone. I took off my mask as the door slid open. I stepped out of the storage container, taking the change of clothing Allen handed me. Lucas walked back into the metal rectangle with a tank of gas, which he proceeded to pour over what was left of the man. I got changed behind some machinery, wiping the blood away with a damp cloth as the glow of a fire began to light the room.

 

Later that night as I stood in my shower, scrubbing the remaining dried blood off my skin under the boiling hot spray, I let myself feel the emotions I’d locked down in the storage container. I no longer cried. That reaction had long since past. Now, all I did was shake under the spray as pink rolled down the drain. I sat on the shower floor once all the blood was removed, hugging my legs to my chest. The water turned cold and I shivered while contemplating all the things that can’t be washed away.

 


	9. When Fear Turns To Anger

 

A few weeks later, I’d received news of the 57th Expedition Beyond the Walls. It had been a complete disaster. A Female Titan with intelligence had attacked the Survey Corps, leaving countless bodies in her wake. All the members in Levi’s Special Operations Squad had been killed. To make matters even worse, Levi sustained an injury while rescuing the girl who’d been glaring at him in the courtroom, Mikasa Ackerman. Eren Yeager had fought this Female Titan and lost. The entire Scouting Regiment returned to hostile citizens who were angry with their failed mission. Eren Yeager was to have yet another trial to determine his fate.

 

I had the week off and was in my house within the Capital, going over various reports. The Special Investigations Squad was going to survey The Garrison branch next and I needed to brush up on my information. As I was reading a report on Dot Pixis –their commander– I heard the doorbell ring. This house was more technologically advanced due to it being in Mitras. I stood up from my chair in the living room and walked to the door. I was greeted by the Captain of the Survey Corps who had a particularly sullen expression. His uniform was gone, replaced with a casual black suit. He was leaning, his hip to one side, favoring his leg.

 

“Come in.” I said, stepping aside to let him enter. Internally, I was shocked that he was here, but I hid it well as he looked around my house. He’d never been to this one before. It was larger than the last but had almost the same layout. Living room first, a study off to the side next to my workout room and then the kitchen. There was a guest bedroom on the lower floor along with a bathroom. My own bedroom was still upstairs.

 

“Erwin’s taking the heat for this failed mission. He’s here now being questioned.” Levi explained, finally turning to look at me. There were dark shadows under his eyes and he looked paler than usual. “I thought you should know.”

 

“I see.” I replied, walking around him to my kitchen table. I pulled out a chair, motioning for him to sit. He hesitated for an instant but finally sat down, looking haggard. I wanted to ask him why he was really here. It wasn’t to tell me about Erwin. He could have sent me a letter for that. No, this was something else. Instead, I asked, “When was the last time you ate?”

 

“Why is it that almost every time we meet, it has something to do with food?” He inquired.

 

“Because I get the feeling that if I didn’t ask, you wouldn’t eat until someone forced you to.” I replied, giving him a small smile. He was the kind of person that finished the work he had to do before taking care of himself. I imagined that he probably didn’t even notice he was hungry until his body was practically starving. He looked at me for a moment then sighed in defeat, resting his head on his hand that was propped up on the table.

 

“I haven’t eaten since yesterday morning.” He affirmed.

 

“See. That wasn’t so hard now, was it?” I teased. He didn’t even manage to glare at me. I held back a grimace, knowing that he had to be taking the death of his squad members hard. If it were my team, I doubt I’d be hanging on as well as he was. I wanted to comfort him but I realized that it could do more harm than good, so I went to my stove instead. After banging around a few pots and pans, I began cooking. I had some steak in the fridge that I was panfrying with onions while I got out a chopping board and started on the vegetables. At the very least, I could feed him so he had enough strength to get through the day. I put some water in a kettle and began looking through my cabinet of teas. “I have pretty much any tea there is. Do you have a preference?”

 

“Anything is fine.” He replied. I looked back at his form, my eyes tracing over his back as he leaned on the table. His posture was a lot more lax than usual, proving that he was incredibly tired. I stayed away from the sleeping teas, knowing it was probably a bad idea to give him something that would make him even drowsier. I chose a spearmint herbal blend just as my kettle announced it was ready. I took the screaming pot off the stove and poured it over the tealeaves, bringing the cup and saucer over to Levi. After his first sip, he seemed to develop a little more life in him.

 

I returned to the stove, flipping the steak and stirring the vegetables. It was a mixture of asparagus, zucchini, carrots, and potatoes that I’d just gotten from the store yesterday. Normally, I would have put them in the oven but I didn’t have time for that so they were being fried. I added some salt and pepper before getting his plate and cutlery.

 

“Aren’t you going to ask what happened?” Levi abruptly asked.

 

“I know already.” I replied softly. “Information is what I specialize in. Besides, I didn’t think you’d want to talk about it.”

 

“I don’t.” He said. “I don’t want to think about it, either.” I paused my stirring. While he wasn’t directly going over the events, he was, in a way, opening up to me. I turned the heat off and began filling his plate with the steaming hot food. I added some bread and butter before bringing it to him, taking a seat at the other end of the table. He eyed the food –I knew he didn’t have an appetite– but began eating.

 

“Is your leg okay?” He looked up at me when I asked this.

 

“It’s going to take a while to heal but it’s fine.” He replied, glancing down at his left leg. “Were you worried about me?” His voice dripped with sarcasm. I felt my heart skip a beat when he asked this, suddenly realizing that I _had been_. When I’d first gotten the news of his injury, I’d been mad at the girl who caused it. I’d been focusing on my anger up until this moment so I could hide my true feeling; fear.

 

“Yes, I was.” I admitted, earning a startled look from him. He hadn’t expected that. “Regardless of what’s going on between us at the moment, I still like you as a person. Of course I was worried about you.” He looked back down at his food, unable to meet my eyes.

 

“Why are you so honest with me?” Levi asked, his voice angry. “Ever since we met, you’ve told me things that are extremely personal. I know you’re smarter than that. Why the hell do you trust me so damn much? You don’t even know me!” He shouted, his hand clamping around the fork, his knuckles turning white from the pressure. I swallowed, not expecting this outburst from him but understanding it all the same. His emotions were a muddled mess inside his head, causing him to momentarily lose his iron clad control. Honesty was something that I rarely gave, even to my closest friends. Here, it was dangerous –even stupid– to give away even the smallest bit of knowledge. He, more than most, was aware of this fact having grown up in the Underground.

 

“I’m not sure. I don’t usually act this way.” I replied, my voice even. He looked up at me now, his heated gaze almost immobilizing as those gray eyes pinned me to my chair. “I believe it’s because Erwin trusts you. He’s been writing me for the last five years and most of the letters have anecdotes about you. By reading those messages, I feel like I’ve known you for years, when we’ve actually just met. I know that it doesn’t make sense to you, but to me, it’s different.” I explained, watching as his anger began to fade. He took a deep breath, freeing the fork from his grip.

 

“I didn’t mean to yell. These last few days have been…taxing.” Levi said, his voice softer as he looked at me, his eyes no longer fierce. It took me a moment to realize that the anger he had just shown was _his_ way of worrying about _me_. When he saw the grin that was forming on my face, he knitted his brows. “What?”

 

“Just now…you were worrying about me.” I replied, still grinning from ear to ear in sweet satisfaction. He looked like he was going to deny it but I watched as my words slowly sunk in and he realized what exactly he’d just done. He hadn’t even comprehended his own actions. This was proof of how exhausted he really was.

 

“Shit.” Levi murmured, putting his head in his hands. After a moment of silence, he spoke. “This is ridiculous. I’m behaving like an utter imbecile. I even catch myself wanting to ignore the fact that you’re Military Police –not to mention– a fucking _noble_!” I watched as he had an inner battle with himself, his hands digging into his raven hair.

 

“That’s what love does. It makes everyone act like complete fools.” I responded, watching as his hands fell away and he stared at me in bewilderment. “I wish it were different but there’s nothing we can do about it now.” He eventually looked up at the ceiling as he sunk into his chair in surrender.

 

“Damn it.”

 

 

After he finished his meal, Levi stood from his chair and I watched as his body began leaning precariously. I reacted almost immediately, moving swiftly around the table and catching him by his shoulders before he hit the ground. His body was dead weight against me as I held him off the floor. I moved my arms under his and around his chest as I lowered him to the ground. His gray eyes were closed, his skin the same pallor it was when he’d first entered my home. I knew not to panic. As a soldier, and as a noble, I’d learned that panic was not an acceptable response in any situation. Thinking calmly and rationally saved lives. Panic did not.

 

“Levi?” I asked, trailing my hand over his face. It was hot. I laid my palm over his forehead, sweeping away his hair. His skin was feverous. I made sure he was still breathing before I stood, going over to the sink and running cold water over a cloth as he laid unconscious on my wooden floor. Once the cloth was cold, I went back over to him, kneeling as I placed it over his head. “Levi!” I said louder, testing how deep he was in his subconscious. I got no response and tried again. This time, I watched in relief as his eyes slowly opened, the breath I’d been unconsciously holding in coming out in a rush.

 

“Vanessa?” He asked, blinking up at me in confusion.

 

“You collapsed.” I explained, pushing him back against the floor when he tried to sit up. “Wait. Lie there for a minute before moving. You have a fever too.”

 

“How long was I out?”

 

“Only a few minutes. Are you okay? Does anything hurt?”

 

“I’m fine. It’s the pain meds. I didn’t know at the time but the doctor gave me some. I don’t respond well to medication.” He explained with a sigh. “Children in the Underground learn to live without it. My body has always rejected it.”

 

“Can you sit up?” I asked, helping him move into a sitting position. I could tell his world was spinning from the way his eyes were moving back and forth. I crouched on the ground with him, waiting until he nodded before helping him stand. I kept my arm around his shoulders to steady him.

 

“I’m only dizzy. It’ll pass.” He said, still leaning a little to one side. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

 

“Come on. Slowly.” I said, walking him to the guest bedroom. He almost made it there without mishap. As he walked to the door, he nearly ran into the doorframe before I pulled him out of the way. After this, he quietly let me lead him into the bedroom, no longer resisting my help. I laid him down on the bed and his eyes closed automatically. “Get some sleep. Your body’s exhausted and needs to heal.” As I was leaving, he spoke.

 

“Wait.” I turned back around to find his eyes open again. “Thank you.” The words were soft, barely even audible as his eyes closed. I stood in the doorway for a while, wondering if that was the medication talking. If it wasn’t, I’m sure he was just deliriously tired and he didn’t even know what he was saying.

 

 

Around five hours later, I stepped out of my shower to find Levi sitting on my bed. He’d left his suit jacket in the guest bedroom and had on a white shirt with his usual cravat. He was looking at a letter that he’d opened, his eyes scrolling back and forth as he tried to make out the words.

 

“And I thought _I_ was the nosy one.” I said, his eyes flicking up at my voice.

 

“I recognized Erwin’s handwriting.”

 

“Really? Even _inside_ the envelope?” I questioned, walking toward him. He gave a noncommittal shrug in reply. “You won’t be able to read it. Every message I ever send is coded.” I explained, taking the papers from his hands.

 

“You must have hundreds of codes then. How do you keep track?” He asked as I folded the message back into the envelope. I paused, glancing at him.

 

“Why do you ask?” I said, watching as he gave me a blank stare. The corners of my mouth twitched upward as I put the letter down and leaned over him. “Did you want to write me? Is that it?”

 

“I’d be careful, if I were you.” Levi murmured, his voice growing deeper. “I’ve been putting up with your sass for a while now, but don’t push your luck.”

 

“Oh? And what’re you going to do about it?” I teased.

 

“Discipline you.” He stated in complete sincerity. In the next moment, I was pulled into his lap, landing unceremoniously on his thighs with a gasp. His mouth crashed into mine as he bent me back, one arm around my lower back while the other pinned my hand against my leg with bruising intensity. His tongue shot into my mouth a moment later, the muscle hot and demanding. His grip on my hand tightened as he deepened the kiss, the hold so forceful that I heard my knuckles popping. I jumped at the sound, breaking us apart. His hold instantly loosened. “Are you alright?” He asked, his voice stunned as his eyes darted to my hand.

 

“It’s fine.” I replied, watching as his hand traced lightly over mine.

 

“I didn’t mean to be so rough.” He mumbled, lifting my left hand and looking it over for injury. “I usually restrain myself better than this. You’re very distracting.”

 

“I didn’t feel it anyway.” I said, watching as a flicker of confusion flashed across his face. “It’s my left hand. The one that was crushed, remember?”

 

“I do, but what does that matter?” He asked, reaching for my hand again when I pulled it away.

 

“I can’t feel anything on the entire left side of it.” I explained, his fingers pausing their exploration as he looked up at me. “I had three surgeries on it. They got the crumpled mess to look like a hand again but they couldn’t repair the internal damage.”

 

“Can you feel this?” His thumb ran across my palm, the calloused finger filled with warmth. I felt part of the touch but could only watch as he rubbed the other side.

 

“Partly.” I replied, watching as he gave a small frown. “I can still use it but the feeling is dulled –if not gone entirely– depending on the location.” He held up my hand to his mouth, kissing my knuckles like he’d done in the hotel room. I felt his lips on the first two fingers. His eyes locked on mine as he covered my pinky finger with his mouth, slowly sucking on the digit. I couldn’t feel his attentions on my hand but just watching him made my body react in a much lower place. His mouth covered my ring finger, his tongue swirling around it for a moment before it disappeared between his lips. My eyelids lowered as my ears registered the wet sucking sounds, his cheeks hollowing out as he pulled against my fingers. The visual alone triggered feelings of desire, a slow burning heat beginning to jump to life in my lower abdomen.

 

“Did you feel _that_?” He asked, slowly, meaningfully, his voice a dark rumble. I swallowed and nodded, my brain muddled enough that I couldn’t even form an answer. He smirked, looking very satisfied with himself as he put my hand on his shoulder. “I’ll be more careful from now on.” His hands found the bottom of my shirt and he began pulling it up when I finally came to my senses.

 

“Wait.” I said, catching one of his hands. He paused, letting me move so both my hands were on his shoulders as I shifted my body so my knees were on either side of his hips as I sat on his lap. He raised an eyebrow, looking even more pleased as he returned to my shirt. I stopped him again, earning an impatient glare from the man. “It’s _my_ turn.” I stated, watching as his eyes closed when I ran my tongue over the shell of his ear. His arms surrounded my waist while I continued, my tongue flicking across his ear until I bit his earlobe, my teeth tugging on the flesh. Those hands tightened around me.

 

My hands went to work, untying his cravat while my mouth returned to his. I kissed him slowly, making him savor every moment of it, the soft flesh of our mouths moving together in superb leisurely unison. My nose brushed against his cheek as I sat up, my legs rising so I was kneeling around him. His head tipped back as he followed my movements, our mouths still locked against each other. His cravat was off in an instant and I sucked against his bottom lip while I started unbuttoning his shirt. He helped me with the bottom and soon, his skin was under my palms.

 

The warmth of his chest hit my suddenly cold fingertips as I touched him, the smooth muscle under his skin solid under my hands. I broke the kiss, my eyes lowering to look at him. He leaned back, propping himself up with his arms on the bed as he let me take him in. Perfect was an understatement. Every muscle on his entire torso was perfectly defined from his pectorals to his abdominals. I could even see the lines of his intercostal muscles on either side of his body. I ran my fingernails down his abs, going up and down over the ridges as he shivered underneath my touch. I instantly began planning out just what I would do to those muscles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be going on a short hiatus with this story. Sorry everyone! I'm stuck at a particular chapter and can't seem to figure out where I want to go with it. Don't worry, I'm not abandoning this story. ^.~


End file.
